第9章01. Mr Rochester

9 Mr Rochester's past

　　Soon I discovered what Mr Rochester meant when he said he had donewrong．One afternoon，while walking in the gardens of Thornfield，he told methe story of his love－affair in Paris with a French dancer，Geline．

'Yes，Miss Eyre，I was youngand foolish then．I was so in love with her that I rented a house and hired servantsfor her．I gave her a carriage and jewels，in fact I threw awaya fortune on her，just like any fool in love．One evening Ivisited her but found she was out，so I waited on her balcony，smoking a cigar．I heard hercarriage arriving．Imagine my horror at seeing her step out followed by a man！You're soyoung，you've never felt love or jealousy，have you，Miss Eyre？You arefloating along a quiet river now，you don't see the water boiling at the foot of the great rocks，but one dayyou'll come to a point in life's stream where the wild force of the waves maydestroy you， where the noisy rushing water may drown you！I am calmenough now，calm enough to like living here at Thornfield．I like itbecause it's old，and grey，and dark， and yet I hate—'He did not finish what he was saying，staring angrily upat the windows on the top floor of his house．It was a look ofdisgust，pain and shame．I could not understand what he meant，and wanted to hearmore about Celine，so I encouraged him to finish the story．

9 罗切斯特的过去

　　不久，我就发现了罗切斯特说他曾做过错事是什么意思。一天下午在花园里散步时，他向我讲述了在巴黎和一位叫赛林娜的法国舞女的爱情故事。

　　“是的，简小姐，我那时年轻、愚蠢。我非常爱她，甚至为她租了房子，雇了仆人。我给她马车和首饰，在她身上挥霍了很多钱，就像任何陷入爱情的傻瓜一样。一天晚上，我去看她，她却不在，于是我就在她阳台上抽着雪茄，等着她。我听见马车来了。能想像得出我看到她走下马车、后面跟着一个男人时所感到的惊愕吗！你太年轻了，还没有感受过爱情或是嫉妒，是不是，爱小姐？现在你正随平静的小河漂流而下，看不到岩石脚下湍急的水流，但是有一天，你会在生活的长河中感到可以毁灭你的巨浪，咆哮的急流可能把你淹没！现在我已平静了，平静得喜欢住在特恩费得。我喜欢它，因为它陈旧、晦涩、黑暗，但是我恨——”他没有说完，只是愤怒地瞪着房子顶层的窗户。那目光中饱含厌恶、痛苦和耻辱。我不知他是什么意思，想多听听赛林娜的事，于是就鼓动他把故事讲完。