第10章02. The mystery

　She went on sewing calmly
　　'I don't think master would have laughed，when he was in such danger，'she said．'You must have been dreaming．'
　　'No，I wasn't dreaming，'I replied sharply． 'You didn't think of opening your door and looking out into the corridor？'she asked．I suddenly realized that if she suspected I knew of her guilt，she might attack me．
　　'No，in fact I locked my door，'I answered，'and I shall lock it every night from now on．'
　　That's wise of you，miss We might have burglars at Thornfield one day，you never know．
I was amazed by her self-control，and could not understand why Mr Rochester had not asked the police to arrest her，or at least dismissed her from his service．Why had he asked me to keep the attack a secret？How could such a proud gentleman be so much in the power of one of his servants that he could not even punish her for trying to kill him？Did she know a terrible secret fron his past，which she had threatened to tell？Could he ever have been in love with her？'NO，I thought，'he could never love anyone as plain and coarse as she is．But then，I'm not beautiful either，and I sometimes think he loves me．Last night-his words，his look，his voice!'And my cheeks were red as I thought of those precious moments
她继续平静地干着手中的针线活。
　　“处在这样的危险之中，我想主人是不会笑的。”她说，“你一定在做梦。”
　　“不，我没有做梦。”我厉声答道。
　　“你没想起要开门朝走廊里看看？”她问。我突然意识到如果她怀疑我知道她的罪过，可能会袭击我。
　　“不，我把门锁上了。”我说，“从今往后我每天晚上都会锁门。”
　　“小姐，这才是明智的。谁知道呢，也许有一天特恩费得会闯进盗贼的。”
　　她的自我克制让我吃惊，我纳闷为什么罗切斯特先生不叫警察抓她或至少解雇她。为什么他要我保守秘密？一个那么骄傲的绅士怎么能这样被自己的仆人左右，那人即使要杀他也不能予以惩罚呢？她是不是知道他过去的什么可怕的秘密，要挟要讲出来呢？他是不是曾经爱过她？“不，”我心想，“他永远不会去爱这么个平淡粗俗的人。可是我也不漂亮呀，但有时我觉得他爱我。昨天夜里——，他的话，他那眼神，他那声音！”想到那些珍贵的瞬间，我的双颊不禁红了。