第18章05. Mr Rocheste

　　A pause．'Why are you silent，Jane？'
　　This was a terrible moment for me．In the struggle and confusion that was going on in my heart I knew that he loved me and I loved him，but I also knew that I must leave him！
　　'Jane，just promise me，“I will be yours．”'
　　'Mr Rochester，I will not be yours．'Another pause．
　　'Jane，'he said，with a gentleness that cut into my soul，'Jane，do you intend us to live apart for ever？'
　　'I do．' 'Jane，'（bending towards me and kissing me）'is that still your intention？'
　　'It is，'I replied，pulling away from him．
　　'Oh Jane，this is a bitter shock．It would not be wicked to love me．'
　　'It would be wicked to do what you want．'
　　'Jane，just imagine my horrible life when you have gone．I shall be alone with that mad woman upstairs．Where shall I find friendship，and hope？'
　　'You can only trust in God and yourself．Live without doing wrong，and die hoping to go to heaven．'
　　'That's impossible without you！And…and you have no family to offend by living with me！'He was beginning to sound desperate．I knew that what he said was true．However，in my heart I also knew I was right to leave．
　　He seemed to read my thoughts．Rushing furiously across the room，he seized me violently and stared fiercely into my eyes．He could have broken me in two with one hand，but he could not break my spirit．Small and weak as I was，I stared firmly back at him．
　　'Your eyes，Jane，'he said，'are the eyes of a bird， a free，wild being：Even if I break your cage，I can't reach you，beautiful creature！You'll fly away from me．But you could choose to fly to me！Come，Jane，come！'He let me go，and only looked at me．How hard it was to resist that look！
　　'I am going，'I said．
　　'Does my deep love mean nothing to you？Oh Jane，my hope…my love…my life！'And be threw himself despairingly on the sofa．I had reached the door，but I could not leave．I walked back，bent over him，and kissed his cheek．
　　'Goodbye，my dear master！'I said．'May God protect you！'
　　'Without your love，Jane，my heart is broken，'he said．'But perhaps you will，so generously，give me your love after all—'He jumped up with hope in his eyes，holding out his arms to me．But I turned and ran out of the room．

一阵沉默。“简，你为什么不说话？”
　　这对我是个可怕的时刻。我内心矛盾着，理不出头绪，我知道他爱我，我也爱他，但我也知道我必须离开他！
　　“简，就答应我，说：'我是你的。'”
　　“罗切斯特先生，我不是你的。”又一阵沉默。
　　“简，”他温柔的声音刺进我的心灵深处，“简，你想让我们俩永远分离吗？”
　　“是的。”
　　“简，”（他弯下腰来吻着我）“你还这么想吗？”
　　“是的。”我回答说，并从他那儿挣脱出来。
　　“噢，简，这真是一个痛苦的打击。爱我不是罪过啊。”
　　“做你想做的事就是罪过。”
　　“简，想象一下你走后我的生活该多么可怕。我将独自伴着楼上的那个疯女人。我到哪里去寻找友谊、寻找希望？”
　　“你只能相信上帝和自己。活着时不要做错事，死去时希望进天堂。”
　　“没有你这是不可能的！再说……你与我生活在一起也不会触怒什么家人。”他开始有些绝望。我知道他说的不错，但我内心也深知我离去是对的。
　　他像看出了我的心思。他狂怒地冲过屋子，猛地抓住我，狠狠地盯着我的眼睛。他用一只手就能把我弄成两半，但他却无法动摇我的意志。尽管我又弱又小，我却坚定地和他对视着。
　　“简，你的眼睛，”他说，“是鸟的眼睛，一个自由的、野性的生命的眼睛。即使我打碎了你的笼子，我也够不到你这个美丽的生灵！你会飞走，离我而去。可你也可以选中向我飞来！来，简，来啊！”他放开我，只是看着我。要抵挡这目光是多么难啊！
　　“我走了。”我说。
　　“难道我深深的爱对你毫无意义？噢，简，我的希望……我的爱人……我的生命！”他绝望地倒在沙发里。我已到了门口，却不能离开。我又走回来，俯下身去，亲吻了他的脸颊。
　　“再见，我亲爱的主人！”我说，“愿上帝保护你！”
　　“简，没有你的爱，我的心都碎了。”他说，“可是毕竟你也许还是可以慷慨地把你的爱给我……”他眼中充满希望地跳起来，向我张开双臂。然而，我转身跑出了房间。