7. 朗读-总拿孩子作比较，后果会怎样？

7. TheProblem with Telling Children They’re Better Than Others

科学美国人

When parents ask, “What grade did you get?” there is a common follow-upquestion: “So who got the highest grade?” Most social comparisons are so commonin daily life that they are usually glossed over.

Social comparisons are well intentioned: we want to make children feelproud and motivate them to achieve. Yet social comparisons can backfire:children can learn to always compare themselves with those around them andbecome trapped in a vicious cycle of competition.

One well-known strategy to eliminate social comparisons is to providechildren with participation trophies. Such awards, however, may not abolishsocial comparisons: despite receiving the same trophy, children are sensitiveto even minor differences in performance between themselves and others.High-performing children who receive the same prize as low-performing ones mayfeel unjustly treated and look down on the latter group. More generally, thosewho receive unwarranted rewards may come to believe that they are entitled torecognition and admiration. Indeed, lavishing children with praise can, in somecases, cultivate narcissism, research shows.

How, then, can we make children feel proud of themselves and motivate themwithout the unwanted side effects? We believe a better approach is to usetemporal comparisons—encouraging children to compare themselves with their pastself rather than with others, such as by assessing how much they have learnedor improved themselves. When children compare themselves with their past self,they don’t compete with others.

What, then, can parents and teachers do with this knowledge? For one,parents and teachers can praise children’s improvement over time to let themknow they are making progress and heading in the right direction. Also,teachers can create learning contexts that track children’s own progress overtime, such as report cards that display their changes in learning andperformance. By doing so, adults teach children that outperforming oneself ismore important than outperforming others and that even small victories may becelebrated.