chpt 10 WHAT’S NEXT? - 2

In this plane of development, the child is becoming physically independent—they go from a baby who is completely dependent on the adult to a child who can walk, talk, and do a great deal for themselves.

It is a volatile period with ample change. Never does so much development take place in one plane. So the child will be more emotional as they experience reams of physical, emotional, and social growth in these years.

The child has an absorbent mind across this whole plane, taking in everything in their environment effortlessly.

Where we saw that a baby and then a toddler had an unconscious absorbent mind, taking in everything without deliberate effort, a preschooler becomes a curious participant in the process and starts to want to understand more consciously everything they see around them. We call this the conscious absorbent mind.

The child begins to ask “What?” and “Why?” and from 3 to 6 years they seek to crystallize everything they absorbed from 0 to 3 years. Around 3, children start to see that symbols can be representations, sometimes showing interest in letters and numbers at this age.

The child from 6 to 12 years

The elementary child becomes a citizen of the world. This is the second plane of development. Their curiosity begins to reach beyond the world in front of them, and they want to know more about distant places, ancient civilizations, and the universe and beyond.

Rather than simply accepting and absorbing things as true, the 6- to 12-year-old child will ask questions about the gray areas. They might ask why our family approaches things differently than another family, for example, our religion or our family constellation. They are busy with concepts like right and wrong, good and bad, fair and unfair, and other moral questions.

They also have more complex thinking and can make amazing discoveries for themselves, if we allow them. As their parent or teacher, we can stimulate an interest just enough to draw them in, then leave them to make connections, develop theories, and sometimes explore questions that one might generally discuss in high school, at university, and beyond. It is limitless.

Parents may also be reassured to know that these years are less volatile than other years. With less explosive growth and fewer changes, the child is in a more stable period.

The child from 12 to 18 years

Teenagers have been largely misunderstood. We think that they want to rebel, they don’t listen, and are characterized as being moody and grumpy. We can assure you that teenagers are lovely humans to be around. Yes, they have enormous changes going on in their bodies and hormones that can lead to a lot of emotional volatility. Yet they are not so dissimilar from toddlers—they need our support when they are having a hard time. And they need to pass through an important development stage of increasing social independence, moving socially away from their family and closer to friends.

This is the third plane of development. It’s a time of big feelings. But it’s also a time when children start to use their imaginations to solve social problems (from climate change, to poverty, to the availability of food, and more). They’ll mostly want to spend time with friends, but they also need the security of a solid home base where they can return when they need our support.