26 Trevor Noah—2016 Election Wrap-Up

Episode: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah—The 2016 Election Wrap-Up 

Background Music: Starboy—by The Weeknd

Catch Phrase:

-      Let’s get straight into this. 让我们直截了当地开始。

-      I don't understand half of this. 我一点儿都不理解这个。

-      That’s not a funny joke. 这一点都不好笑。

-      Seriously./ Seriously? 认真的。／你不是认真的吧？

Cultural Tips:

-      April Fools 愚人节

-      Electoral College 选举人团

-       Trump’shair & Trump University

Full Script

Let’s get straight into this. If this morning, you finally woke up from a coma, well, you might want to go back.让我们直接开始，如果今天早上你终于从昏迷中醒来，那么你可能想回到昏迷状态。(News anchors and laughter from the audience)（新闻播音以及观众笑声）You know what? No matter how many times I hear that, it still doesn’t seem real. It still doesn’t feel real.你知道吗？不管我多少次听到这个，它还是感觉不真实。I mean, look at this. This is the newspaper today. Look at that.我是说，看看这个。这是今天的报纸。看看它。(Audience jeering)（观众起哄）It looks… (He can’t hear you. It’s a newspaper, it doesn’t matter.) It looks like a joke from April Fools, you know?它看起来...（他听不见你们。这是份报纸，这样没用的。）它看起来像是愚人节的笑话，你懂么？And even then, people are like “That’s not a funny joke, man.”即使那样人们也会说：“这个笑话一点都不好笑。”This entire result is sort of like Trump’s hair. 这整个接过有点像川普的头发。I know it’s real, but my mind can’t accept it.我知道它是真的，可是我的大脑无法接受它。…I mean, I don’t understand half of this. Hilary Clinton lost by getting more votes.我是说，我完全无法理解这个。希拉里因赢得更多选票而输了。No, seriously. She lost by getting more votes.不，认真的。他因赢得更多选票而输了。Trump got 200,000 fewer votes, but he won the presidency because he had 279 electoral votes.川普少得了200万票，但他却因为获得279张选人票而赢得总统。Because that’s how it works in America.因为这就是美国运作的方式。You don’t need the most votes. You just need the Electoral College.你不需要得到最多的票数，你只需要选人代表团。So once again, Donald Trump benefits from a bullsh*t college.于是又一次，川普因为一个bs大学而获利。