24 Jimmy Kimmel—Cracks Down on Comfort Animals

Talk Show Episode: Jimmy Kimmel Live! —Jimmy Kimmel Cracks Down on Comfort Animals 

Background Music: We Don’t Talk Anymore— by Maroon 5 & Selena Gomez 

Catch Phrase: 
-…bucks = …dollars: 几块钱
-I’ve had enough! 我受够了!
-表达意见/立场
I don’t blame…：我不怪(某人)
I applaud sb. for…：我为某人(的做法)鼓掌，表示支持
-萌宠名称
Alpaca：羊驼
Chihuahua：吉娃娃
Maltipoo：马尔蒂贵宾 (Maltese + Poodle)
Poodle：贵宾犬

Cultural Tips:
-对萌宠的正确反应: Awwwwwww…
-TSA (Transportation Security Administration): 交通安全管理局
-Noah’s Arc: 诺亚方舟

Full Script:
Here’s something I’d like to see our leaders getting to work on.
The TSA, and I applaud them for this, they’re cracking down on the so-called comfort animals.
You know the animals people bring with them on the plane, because they claim to be too nervous or whatever to fly alone?
It can be any kind of pet you know, not just dogs.
People register birds, monkeys, pigs, turkeys.
Someone brought and alpaca on the plane and no problems.
Cuz all you need is a note from a joke online doctor.
You go to a website, you pay like 70 bucks, and just like that, your pet is officially a comfort animal.
It’s now easier to get a horse on a plane than it is to get a bottle of mouthwash on the plane. 
The airlines have had enough. They only want trained-service animals to be allowed on the plane.
And I don’t blame them. I don’t want to sit next to a fish tank on the plane.
Have you been on an airplane recently? 
It’s like Noah’s Arc of Chihuahuas and Maltipoos.
This is gonna make a lot of people mad, but if you are so emotionally unstable that you need to hold a poodle to get on a plane?
Maybe you shouldn’t get on a plane.