5 tips for preparing an older child for a new baby in the family

Parents can avoid jealous and insecureolder kids in a home with a new baby by implementing some of these ideas.(Photo: FamVeld/Shutterstock)

Having a new baby is exciting, but it can also be a time of tremendous（巨大的；惊人的） upheaval（剧变） for the older siblings（兄弟姐妹）. At first, your older daughter may be super psyched（激动的，兴奋的） to have a baby in the house to hold and to feed — afterall（毕竟；终究）, it's areal-life game of house! But many kids will soon face the harsh reality（残酷的现实） that mom or dad is more tired, more stressed（有压力的） and less available than before the little bundle's（捆；扎,此处指小baby） arrival. The good news is that life with a new baby getseasier from the moment they're born — the little tyrant's（暴君） routine（日常） of crying, pooping（拉粑粑） and eating doesn't rule（统治） the house forever. Meanwhile（同时）, there are some things you can do to ease（缓和；缓解） the adjustment（调整） your older kids experience from having a new sibling.Read on for some tips:

1. Involve（包含；牵涉） them in the prepping（使某人准备好prepare） process. Whether itbe helping to pick out colors for the nursery（此处指儿童房） or going through the closet to give the baby their oldtoys or clothes, your kids will be less resentful（憎恨；愤恨） of the new baby if they were involved in the new babypreparations from the start. Be sure to tell them about the new baby growing inyour tummy（肚子） well inadvance of（在…之前） its arrival to give them time to get used to the idea. Let them feel the baby kick so they can get to know the baby even before itarrives and read plenty of（很多；大量） books about new babies and siblings.

2. Listen to their worries. For a younger child who is not aware of（知晓，知道） his feelings, bring it up（提起；谈及） while you're giving him a bath or giving him dinner andlisten to what he is concerned about（担心，关心）, before or after the baby comes. Reassure（使…安心；消除疑虑） him that even though there are times when it may feellike he's pushed aside（推到一边）, you care about him just as much as before. Tell himyour heart will get bigger to accommodate（容纳） loving both him and the new baby, not that the new babyis going to take away your love from him. If your child is not particularly（特别地） verbal（言语的；口头的；此处指不善言谈）, role-playing during a game of pretend may be helpful in teasing out（哄取） his concerns（担忧）.

3. Be sure to set aside（留出） special time for them. Once the new baby comes, it can be easy to take an olderchild's feelings for granted（take…for granted认为…是理所当然的）, especially if he's a 3-year-old screaming for attention（关注；注意）. Set aside special time for just you and your olderchild while your baby is napping（小睡；小憩） (which he'll hopefully do a lot of those first couplemonths) to share something together — take him on a special outing or spendtime at home cooking together, playing together or even folding laundry（叠衣服） together.

4. All you need is love. An older sibling may regress（倒退；退步） in some of his milestones（里程碑，大事件） when a new baby is born (forgetting to use the potty（小孩用的拉屎座椅potty chair） or drinking from a bottle again). Instead of chastising（惩罚，责骂） or punishing（惩罚）, reassure him again and again that you still love himand praise（赞美） him fordoing something right. Be specific（具体，详细） in your praise — "You made it to the toilet andwashed your hands all by yourself — what a big boy!" Your older child willneed plenty of kisses and cuddles（抱抱） too, so be generous（慷慨，大方）.

5. Cut yourself some slack（cut someone some slack放某人一马）. Having anew baby is hard on everyone in the family, but the major（主要的） upheaval（剧变） will pass and life with two (or three or four!) willsettle into a routine. When it does, I highly recommend reading "Siblings Without Rivalry（竞争，对抗）" by AdeleFaber and Elaine Mazlish to help you grow your kids' relationship into a closeand special one for years to come.