第1589期:Humiliation and how to deal with it

Humiliation. Many of us have experienced it, right? That horrific feeling of just wanting the ground to open up and swallow us. It’s an awful sensation when someone decides to belittle us and make us feel small. But what is humiliation, and how can we move on from it?

屈辱。我们很多人都经历过，对吧？那种只希望地面打开并吞没我们的可怕感觉。当有人决定贬低我们并让我们感到渺小时，这是一种可怕的感觉。但什么是屈辱，我们如何才能摆脱它？

Humiliation is quite often compared to the feeling of shame. However, the fundamental difference is that we feel shame is deserved, while humiliation is not. It has more in common with bullying and harassment. Neel Burton M.D says that humiliation results from undermining claims that you have made, such as “I’m good at my job”, and challenges your authority to make such claims in future.

羞辱常常与羞耻感相提并论。然而，根本的区别在于我们感到羞耻是应得的，而屈辱则不是。它与欺凌和骚扰有更多的共同点。尼尔伯顿医学博士说，羞辱是由于破坏了你所做的声明，例如“我擅长我的工作”，并挑战你在未来提出此类声明的权力。

Imagine your colleague shocks you by unfairly calling you out on your work during a meeting with your boss. Or your friend may demean you by questioning your expertise in a hobby or interest in front of your other friends.  The presence of others is the key factor in humiliation – a public dressing-down. It also has so many forms and uses in society. Public humiliation is often said to act as a crime deterrent, while it also has a place in comedy. You may enjoy watching a celebrity being roasted: a humiliation designed to highlight faults for comedic effect.

想象一下，你的同事在与你的老板开会时不公平地叫你工作，这让你感到震惊。或者你的朋友可能会在你的其他朋友面前质疑你在爱好或兴趣方面的专业知识，从而贬低你。他人的在场是羞辱的关键因素——公开打扮。它在社会上也有很多形式和用途。公开羞辱通常被认为是一种犯罪威慑，同时它在喜剧中也有一席之地。您可能会喜欢看名人被烤：一种耻辱，旨在突出喜剧效果的缺点。

So, how can you deal with it? According to psychologist Robert J. Sternberg, there are a few steps you can take. First, you must accept the humiliation and realise you’re not the only one who has felt like this – talk to others who have experienced it and move on. Also, don’t immediately try and strike back for ‘round 2’ – often humiliation isn't personal.

那么，你该如何处理呢？根据心理学家 Robert J. Sternberg 的说法，您可以采取一些步骤。首先，你必须接受屈辱，并意识到你不是唯一一个有这种感觉的人——与经历过的人交谈并继续前进。此外，不要立即尝试反击“第 2 轮”——羞辱通常不是针对个人的。

Lastly, resilience seems to be crucial. Some people say: “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. While humiliation probably won’t kill you, it can hurt. Why not use the degradation as motivation to become a better worker or learn more about that hobby or interest? It could be an opportunity to start investing more in doing something you love. That way it may have an unexpected benefit.

最后，韧性似乎至关重要。有人说：“杀不死你的只会让你更强大”。虽然羞辱可能不会杀死你，但它会伤害你。为什么不将退化作为成为更好工人或更多地了解该爱好或兴趣的动力呢？这可能是一个开始更多投资于做你喜欢的事情的机会。这样，它可能会带来意想不到的好处。

词汇表

horrific 极其可怕的
wanting the ground to open up and swallow sb 某人想找个地缝钻进去
awful 糟糕的，极坏的
belittle 轻视，贬低
make sb feel small 让某人感到渺小
shame 羞耻，惭愧
bullying 恃强欺弱的行为
harassment 骚扰行为
undermine 削弱信心，损害
call sb out 批评
demean 贬低，羞辱
dressing-down 训斥
roasted 被严厉批评
fault 缺点，过错
move on 接受现实，继续前行
strike back 回击
resilience 面对逆境顽强的韧性
degradation 丢脸，屈辱