暮光之城第一章 05

 Myskin could be pretty — it was very clear, almost translucent-looking — but it all depended oncolor. I had no color here.

Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself.It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in. And if I couldn't find a niche in a schoolwith three thousand people, what were my chances here?

I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth wasthat I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyoneelse on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes Iwondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world wasseeing through theirs. Maybe therewas a glitch in my brain.

But the cause didn't matter. All that mattered was the effect.And tomorrow would be justthe beginning.

I didn't sleep well that night, even afterI was done crying.The constant whooshingof the rain and wind across the roof wouldn't fade into the background. I pulled the faded old quilt overmy head, and later added the pillow, too. But I couldn't fall asleepuntil after midnight, when the rain finally settled into a

我的皮肤本来可以很漂亮的——非常亮，几乎透明——只可惜它的颜色发暗了。我到了这里变得黯然无色了。

　　面对镜子里苍白的自己，我不得不承认是在欺骗自己。我到哪儿都不适应的，不单单是身体方面。如果我在3000人的学校里都找不到一个容身之所，那么在这里又能有什么机会呢？

　　我跟自己的同龄人相处不好。或许，事实是我跟谁都相处不好，就这么回事。就连我妈妈，这个世界上比谁都亲的人，都没有跟我融洽过一回，从来都没有意见完全一致过。有时候，我在想我眼里所看到的和世上所有其他人眼里看到的是不是同样的东西。也许，我脑袋里哪里短路。

　　不过原因并不重要，重要的是结果。明天不过是刚刚开始。

　　那天晚上我没睡好，就连哭完之后也没睡好。房顶上扫过的风雨声，嗖嗖地一阵紧似一阵，根本就没有减弱成背景音的意思。我把褪了色的旧棉被拽上来蒙住了脑袋，后来又在上面加了个枕头。可我还是直到后半夜，等雨好不容易减弱成了毛毛小雨时才入睡。

Chapter One:FIRST SIGHTScene Four: Morning in Forx

Thick fog was all I could see out my window inthe morning, and I could feelthe claustrophobia creeping up on me. You could

never see the sky here; it was like a cage.

Breakfast with Charlie was a quiet event. He wished me good luck at school.I thanked him, knowing his hopewas wasted. Goodluck tended to avoid me. Charlie left first, off to the police station that was hiswife and family. After he left, I sat at the old square oak table in one of the three unmatching chairs and examined his small kitchen,with its dark paneledwalls, bright yellow cabinets, and white linoleum floor. Nothing was changed. My mother hadpainted the cabinetseighteen years ago in anattempt to bringsome sunshine into the house. Over the small fireplace in the adjoining handkerchief-sized familyroom was a row of pictures.First a wedding picture of Charlie and my mom in Las Vegas, then one of the three of us inthe hospital after I was born, taken by a helpful nurse, followed by the procession of my school picturesup to last year's. Those were embarrassing to lookat — I would haveto see what I could do to get Charlie to put them somewhere else, at least while I was living here.

It was impossible, being in this house, not to realize thatCharlie had never gottenover my mom. Itmade me uncomfortable.

I didn't want to be too early to school,but I couldn'tstay in the houseanymore. I donned my jacket — which had the feel of a biohazard suit — and headed out into the rain.

It was just drizzling still, not enough to soak

第一章：初见场景四：福克斯的早晨

早上醒来，睁眼一看，窗外除了浓雾还是浓雾，我能感觉到幽闭恐怖症正在向我慢慢袭来。在这里，你根本就看不到天空；

就像一个笼子一样。

与查理共进早餐是一件静静悄悄的事。他祝我上学好运，我谢了他，知道他祝了也是徒劳。好运总是会躲着我。查理先出了门，去了警察局，那里才像是他的家。等他走了之后，我在破旧的橡木方桌边上坐下，坐在三把不配套的椅子中的一把上，端详起查理的小厨房来：墙上嵌着深色的护墙板(浮雕)，有几个鲜黄色的橱柜，地上铺着白色的油毡。什么都没有变。橱柜上的漆是我母亲18年前刷的，她想给房子里面引点儿阳光进来。隔壁巴掌大的家庭娱乐室的壁炉上方挂着一排照片，第一张是查理和我妈妈在拉斯维加斯的结婚照，然后一张是我出生后我们一家三口在医院的合影，是一个乐于助人的护士帮忙照的，接着的一连串全都是我在学校里的照片了，最晚的一张是去年才照的。这些照片可寒碜了——我得想想办法，看怎么能够让查理把它们挪到别的地方去，起码我住在这里的时候不能挂着。

　　在这栋房子里，谁都看的出: 查理从来都没有真正把我妈妈忘掉过。这令我很不自在。

　　我不想太早去上学，可我没办法在这个房子里多袋了。我穿上了外套——给人的感觉有点儿防毒服的味道——一头冲进了雨里。

　　仅仅是还在下着一点儿毛毛小雨，我取

me through immediately as I reached for the house keythat was always hiddenunder the eaves by the door, and locked up. The sloshing

of my new waterproof boots was unnerving.

下钥匙再把门锁上这么短时间，是淋不透我的。房子的钥匙一直藏在门边的屋檐下面。我的新防水靴溅起的泥水很恼人