Create romance in your life 制造浪漫

Let's talk about relationships romance. 

我们来聊聊亲密关系吧。 

Personal relationships always seem to be the first priority for many of us. Perhaps you are always searching for love. Hunting for love doesn't always bring the right partner because the reasons for wanting love are unclear. 

对于我们很多人而言，个人关系貌似是我们最重视的事。可能你一直在寻找真爱。去寻找爱并不一定会让你遇见对的人，因为你想要爱的原因并不清楚。

We think oh if I only had someone who loved me my life would be so much better, but that's not the way it works. There is a big difference between the need for love and being needy for love. When you are needy for love it simply means you are missing love and approval from the most important person you know, yourself. 

我们会想，啊，如果有人爱我的话，我的生活会变得好很多。但这并不能算原因。需要爱，和缺爱，是完全不一样的。当你缺爱的时候，那恰恰说明你失去了于你而言最重要的人的爱与认可，而这个最重要的人就是你自己。

You may become involved in relationships that are codependent and ineffectual for both partners. You can never create love in your life by talking or thinking about being lonely. Feeling lonely and needy just pushes people away. You cannot heal a relationship in your life by talking or thinking about how awful it is now. This only puts the attention on the problem not the solution. 

你可能身陷那种相互依赖的、对于双方而言都是名存实亡的感情。如果你一直在想、一直在说自己很孤单，那你永远无法在生活中创造爱。如果你很孤独、很缺爱，那么没有人愿意接近你。如果你一直埋怨、一直纠结于你现在的亲密关系有多糟糕，这是无法让这段关系变好的。这只会让你把注意力全都放在问题、而不是解决办法上。

You want to turn your thoughts away from the problem and create new thoughts. That will produce a solution. Arguing for your limitations is just resistance. And resistance is only a delay tactic. It's another way of saying I'm not good enough to have what I'm asking for. 

毕竟你还是想扭转自己的想法，不要一直纠结于这个问题，让自己换种思维方式。这才会让你找到解决办法。一直声称自己不够强大，这只是你对现实的逃避罢了。逃避是一种拖延的手段而已。这就等于你在说，我不够好，我配不上我想要的东西。

【重点词汇&表达】

1.hunt for love

  追求爱情；

2.unclear

  不清楚的；不明确的；

3.be needy for

 对…有需求；需要；

4.be involved in

 被卷入…中；参与；

5.codependent

 互相依赖的；共存的；

6.ineffectual [ɪnɪ'fektʃʊəl]

 无效的，不起作用的；

7.heal a relationship

 修复关系；

8.put the attention on

 把注意力放在…；

9.turn your thoughts away from

 把注意力从…转移；

10.argue for

  为…辩护；支持；

11.a delay tactic

  拖延战术；

12.It's another way of saying…

 这就等于是在说…；