E55 岂厌小儿婚嫁早，却嫌老父为官迟

E55 岂厌小儿婚嫁早，却嫌老父为官迟

课程导读

上节课我们讲到，在中国古代，儿女的婚嫁之事通常由父母早早地安排操办。每逢科举放榜之时，富商们还会为了自家女儿“榜下捉婿”，向未婚举子提亲。今天这节课，林语堂先生将继续“见缝插针”地讲述中国传统婚姻文化。那么，面对守旧过时的婚配制度，林先生的论述逻辑是什么？什么样的婚姻，才能让人收获幸福呢？

英文原文

Anyway, the Su brothers were happily married.

It is not by any means implied that mistakes were not made by parents in arranging their children's marriages, or that a higher percentage of happy marriages ensued; all marriages, however arranged, are a gamble and an adventure upon an uncharted sea.

The prescient parent or fortuneteller who knows exactly how his son's marriage is going to turn out, even if arranged by him, does not exist.

In an ideal society where marriages are made in a blindfold game in a dark forest, participated in by unmarried men and women between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five, but where social ethics and community life are stable, the percentage of happy marriages may still be the same.

Men, whether at the age of eighteen or fifty-eight, select their mates, with rare exceptions, still on the basis of sexual selection designed by nature, while women attract, but do not select, on the same basis.

They make more of an attempt to approach an intelligent choice, and this alone prevents a modern marriage from completely resembling the amorous mating of animals.

The advantages of the system of arrangement by parents are merely that it is simpler, more efficient, less wasteful of time, and allows a much greater freedom and wider range of choice.

All marriages are contracted in heaven but made on earth and by the men and women who have to make it after they come away from the altar.

Soon after the younger son's marriage, therefore, the brothers and father set out for the capital.

They had first to go to Chengtu, the capital of the province, where they came into contact with Chang Fangping, a very high official who later was almost like a father to Su Tungpo.

Their father also hoped to obtain a position of some kind.

He was now about forty-seven, but he had worked hard since his return after his failure at the examinations.

In that period he had produced an important work on the principles of government, war, and peace, showing great depth and originality, which should bring him the attention and respect of the scholars at the capital.

There were at the time possible channels for one to receive an office on special recommendation of some high minister of state.

He submitted his works to Chang Fangping, who thought very highly of them and was ready to appoint him a teacher at the district college of Chengtu.

But Su senior was not content with a "mere post as a college teacher."

Eventually, overcome by his enthusiasm, Chang was persuaded to write a letter of introduction to Ouyang Shiu, the first writer of the land, although he was not on very good terms with him.

Another friend, by the name of Lei, also wrote a letter of introduction, speaking of the eldest Su as having the "talent of a counselor of kings."

Armed with these letters to Ouyang Shiu and Mei Yaochen, the father and sons went up to the capital by a land journey of over two months, passing through the high mountain ranges of northern Szechuen and Shensi.