02 The Frogs and the Ox

2. THE FROGS AND THE
OX
By Tony Payne
'Mum! Mum! Come quickly!' called
the little frog, hopping and skipping
with excitement...
'Come and see the monster!' He
called.
'It’s got two big spikes sticking out
of its head and a funny brush thing
at the other end and it goes "OARRR AGH!" And it kicks frogs.'
'Not now dear,' said the little frog's
mother.
'Come on mum! Please!'
Mother frog looked more closely at
the little one.
'You're Stanley, aren't you?'
'No mum, I'm Zebadee.'
'Are you really? You all look so
alike.'
She had 247 children, and it is hard
to remember that many names, so
she called everyone Stanley to give
her memory a rest.

'Mu-ummm…' cried Zebedee,
'I haven’t finished breakfast, dear.'
The little frog hesitated. 'Can I
have some then?'
'No, Stanley,' she said. 'You’re not
a tadpole any more. Go and find
your own slugs - and stop jiggling
about, you're giving me a headache.'
'I'm not jiggling about, I'm hopping
about.'
'Well stop it. It looks like exercise,
and I can’t be having with that sort
of thing. How would it be if I were
to flip and flop about like you,
doing exercise?'
The little frog thought about it.
'You wouldn't be so podgy,' he
said.
'Exactly!' said his mother. 'You
don’t get a jelly-belly like mine by
exercising. I get all the exercise I
need chewing. Now, what's all the
fuss about?'

'It's an Ox! And it's really gross
and his shoes have split down the
middle.'

'There are no such things as monsters, Stanley, and no creature in
the pond is bigger than me.'

'But it is bigger than you, mum.
Lot's bigger. I promise.'

'Right!' said his mum. 'We'll see
about that! I'll go with you, and if
you are telling fibs you'll have no
worms for a week.'

The damp hollow she sat in was
home to a good assortment of
slugs.

'You’ve only moved half a metre,
mum.'
'Far enough,' she wheezed. She
took a deep breath – and then she
took a deep breath – and then she
took a deep breath.

'Is the ox as big as this?' she
asked.
She sounded odd, because it's hard
to speak, blown up like a beach
ball.
'Much bigger than that,' said the
little frog.
So she sucked in more air, and
sucked in more air, and sucked in
more air.
'No, mum – it's still bigger…'
So she took in another breath, and
…and…she shot into the air like
an escaped balloon that zips
around the room making rude
noises because you let go of the end.
'YAAAAAH!' she yelled, looping-theloop and fizzing off in all directions
before crashing - with a spectacular
splash - right in front of the ox!
The ox looked bored with the whole
thing. Water dribbled from his mouth.
'Stanley!' she called back to the
little frog a field and a half away.
'Let that be a lesson to you!'
But the lesson was hers really