英语演讲：如何高情商与人交流？

Research has found that when we produce dopamine in conversation, it actually makes you more memorable. So this is research from Dr John Medina. And what he found is that dopamine, it`s the chemical of motivation, it`s the chemical of pleasure and excitement.

研究发现，如果在谈话中能产生多巴胺，这会使你更容易被记住。这是约翰麦地那博士的研究结果。他所发现的是多巴胺，它是激励的化学物质，它是快乐和兴奋的化学物质。

And when you`re asked about things that make you feel excited, you actually produce dopamine. And you create what are called mental markers. Dr Medina calls them mental post-it notes.

当你被问及，那些让你感觉到兴奋的事情时，你的大脑会产生多巴胺。你会产生人们称之为心里标记的东西。梅迪纳博士称它们为心里便条。

That you`re with someone and they ask you dopamine worthy question, your brain goes,“Oh, this person makes me feel good. I`m going to remember them.”

当你与人交流，他们问你产生多巴胺问题时，你的大脑会想：哦，这个人让我感觉很好，我要记住他们。

So when you produce dopamine in a conversation, people are more likely to remember your name, they`re more likely to remember you.

所以当你在谈话中产生多巴胺时，人们更有可能记住你的名子，他们更有可能记住你。

So how do we produce dopamine? You literally use dopamine triggering words. Do not ask“what do you do ?” anymore.

那么我们是如何产生多巴胺的呢？你要使用能产生多巴胺的词语，别再问你是做什么的了。

You`re basically saying,“I want you to stay on autopilot and answer the same question you`ve answered 1000 times before.” and also“what do you do ?” is really asking“what you are wroth?”

你基本上是在说：“我要进入你的大脑，进入自动驾驶模式，回答你以前回答过1000次同样的问题。”而且，当你问，“你是做什么的”时候，你其实是在问，“你身价几何？”

I think it`s actually a little bit of an offensive question. So if we`re going to get rid of it, what are we going to replace it with? What you want to replace it with are things that someone defines themselves by that get them excited. So,“working on anything exciting recently?” that`s a very, very simple swap but it allows someone to say,“am I working on anything exciting?”

我认为这样的问题有点冒犯，所以，我们要避免这样问，我们应该把它换成什么？你要把它换成那些在对方感受上令人兴奋的事情。最近有让你感到兴奋的事情吗？这是一个非常、非常简单的替换，但它会让某人想说，“有哪些事情让我感觉到兴奋呢？”

And they can answer with work or they can answer with pleasure. You can also ask,“have any personal passion projects?”“are you looking froward to any big projects coming up?”“looking forward to” is a dopamine word.

他们可以回答工作方面的事情，也可以回答一些好玩的事。你也可以问，有什么个人爱好项目吗？你是否期待者即将到来的大项目呢？“期待”是一个多巴胺词语。

Excited, working on anything exciting is a dopamine word. Have any personal passion projects is a dopamine word.

兴奋，做什么让你感觉到兴奋的事，是一个多巴胺词。有什么个人爱好项目，是一个多巴胺词。

So all we`re doing is we`re trying to sub out autopilot questions for dopamine producing questions.“what do you love to do?” working on any personal passion projects? Working on anything exciting? Have any fun projects coming up? There`s four that we can replace.

所以我们正在做的是，我们试图把自动驾驶模式的问题换成产生多巴胺的问题。你喜欢做什么？在进行什么个人爱好项目吗？在做什么令人兴奋的事情吗？有什么有趣的项目要做吗？这四个是我们可以用来替换的。

Let`s also replace how are you? If you ask someone how are you, here`s the answer you`re gonna get. So how are you? Busy, good, but busy. Is that not the answer that everyone gives every time? So no more how are you ? instead asked, what`s good?That simple swap asking a brain what`s good, that literally are searching for good good good good .

我们也来替换一下：最近还好吗？如果你问别人最近好吗？你会得到这样的答案。最近还好吗？忙。很好，但是很忙。这不是每个人每次都会给出的答案吗？所以不要再问，最近好吗？而是问，最近有什么好事吗？这样简单的交替，问大脑有什么好事，大脑会开始搜寻好的事情。

So if you have a team call or a date or a text thread or a friend group when you can start to sub out the“how are you ?”, how`s it been going? With“tell me something good”, let`s celebrate a win, you`re literally giving people dopamine that helps them fell more motivated.

所以如果你在团队会议中，或者在约会中，或者在聊天时，在群聊中，你可以开始替换掉“最近好吗？”、“最近怎么样？”换成“告诉我一些好事”、“我们来庆祝一下”，你实际上是在给人们多巴胺，让他们感觉到更有动力。