艾玛·沃特森Vogue采访：享受与自己相伴

Let's talk about the fact that you are going to turn 30.
接下来我们聊一下你即将步入而立之年这件事吧。
This was really interesting.
这个话题很有意思。
So I was like, why does everyone make such a big fuss about turning 30, this is not a big deal, blahblahblah --
我不知道为什么很多人对到了30岁这么小题大做，（我觉得）这不是什么大事。
But as an actress.
但作为一个女演员—
Cut to 29-- I'm like, oh my god I feel so stressed and anxious.
直到我满了29岁，我突然感觉压力很大 ，很焦虑。
And I realize it's because there are-- there is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around ,
突然之间，潜意识里各种信息开始疯狂涌入，
if you, if you do not have a, if you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby and you are turning 30.
如果你还没有买房，没成家，没生孩子，但马上就30岁了。
And you're not in some incredibly like, secure stable place and your career,
工作上也不算特别稳定有保障，
you are still figuring things out, there's just like this incredible amount of anxiety.
还在各种尝试，真的是会焦虑的不行。
I know, we are still pretty comfortable about... this is not a natural situation to be in is it for most peopele.
虽然生活富足，但对于大多数人来说，这并不是一个自然的状态。
But for you, you know, this is you, this is for you do essentially, along with your acting do,
但于你而言，这就是你，这就是你在做的事情，伴随着你的演艺事业，
but this is, of course you know, part of it that you can't escape.
你知道，是无法逃避的。
That's another thing. I've sat in therapy and felt really guilty about it,
这件事又另当别论了。坐在医疗室里我会觉得非常愧疚（或许是因为自己名气越来越大，担心名不副实），
to be honest, is... is like why... why me? Somebody else would have enjoyed and wanted this aspect of it more than I did.
说实话，我为什么会这样？换做别人可能会比我更享受现在的生活，甚至还想得到更多。
Right,right.
确实。
And I struggle with it, I've wrestled a lot with the guilt around that...
对此我也是颇为纠结，和内心的愧疚做了很多斗争。
That's interesting.
这真是稀奇啊。
I've been-- like I should be enjoying this more, I should be more excited and I'm actually really struggling.
我一直在尝试告诉自己应该享受现在的一切，应该感到更兴奋，但事实上我却一直在做心理斗争。
Right.
是啊。
But then--
但——
You didn't know what you were getting yourself into,right?
你会觉得无所适从，对吧？
Well, I was nine-- that's the thing, yeah,
对！当时我才9岁，
I was nine years old and I got literally picked out of a line-up in my school gym that wasn't even an acting school,
才9岁就被剧组在学校的体育馆里选中，那还不是专门的影视学校，
and got the first part I ever auditioned for I mean it's like it's so bizarre another worldly what happened to me.
之后我有了第一次试镜……这对我来说非比寻常。
Is there another Emma Watson that didn't go to that audition that didn't get picked out, who would you be...
如果当时你没有被选中，现在你会成为什么样的人呢？
That forms like sliding doors.
可是"时光一去不复返"啊。
Yeah, like sliding doors, who is, who is Emma Watson take as nineteen that didn't...
没错，所以才有了你19岁的成功。（指艾玛·沃特森在19岁时荣获第19届MTV电影奖最佳女演员奖）
I mean was it so long ago that you started on this journey that you can't even envisaged be that person you would be now.
我的意思是时间过去了这么久，当时步入娱乐圈的时候你甚至想不到自己会有今天的成就。
Yeah, I mean it' really interesting...I'm 29 now, and got cast in Harry Potter when I was 9 years old so I mean and making...
对，我出演《哈利波特》的时候刚刚9岁，而现在已经29了。
Yeah, I don't even have that many memories from when I was before before I had the role.
对步入娱乐圈以前的事情我记得的不多了。
It was I won this poetry recital competition and I always loved poetry, I always loved writing, always loved performing in that way--
只记得那时候我赢了诗歌朗诵比赛，我喜爱诗歌，热爱写作，喜欢不同于现在的表演——
I think I would have done it another way--
我本以为我会走上与现在不同的路。
Yeah.
可能会。
I maybe wouldn't be in Harry Potter, but I did have--
当时也许不会选中我，但我确实被选中了——
there's no doubt in my mind, it would have been part of my life and I think part,
在我脑海中，《哈利波特》无疑会成为我生活中的一部分，
part of what's helped me find peace is there's been moments when everything just got so big, so--kind of--whoa, where I almost had vertigo on my own life.
它让我内心平静，有时候生活中的一切似乎都被放大了，令我头晕目眩。
And it's got so big, I felt disconnected and part of I think my sense of peace within myself has been in remembering my identity
明星的光环变得如此之大，大到让我感到与社会脱节了——但当我想起自己身份的时候又找回了内心的平静，
as...like I'm someone's daughter.
比如，我是那个人的女儿。
Yeah.
对的。
Like I am my mother's daughter and my father's daughter,  I am, I am a sister--
就像我是我父母的女儿，是我弟弟的姐姐——
I, I belong to a family, I come from a place, I have roots.
我是我们家庭的一员，我有温馨的港湾，我有"根"。
There's a whole pretty big existence and identity that I have--
这才是我最完整最真实的存在。
Yeah.
有道理。
Actually that's really important,and weighted and solid that has nothing to do, actually, with any of that.
这是最重要的，最有分量的，最坚不可摧的（身份），事实上其他任何事都不能影响它。
That's fantastic that you feel the sense yourself.
很难得你可以自己认识到这点。
Yeah, well.I haven't always, but we connecting, and remembering and kind of being, you know,I've had to ask,
也不是总能意识到，但通过联系，回忆，我会不由地问道，
I'm like, am I still your daughter, you know, and I still,like, because I-- it has felt so weired sometimes, it got so big sometimes.
"我还是你们的女儿吗？"，这样做有时会很奇怪，但明星的光环实在太大了。