So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way?"
因次我的问题是,为什么我不说出来呢?为什么其它人不说出来呢?为什么我能说:“我要一块三分熟的牛排,我需要6号尺码的鞋子,” 但我却不会说:“你可以这样赞美我吗?”
And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.
因为这会使我觉得自己把重要信息透露给你了,我自己内心的不安告诉了你,让你认为我需要你的帮助。虽然你是我最贴心的人,但在内心深处,我却把你当作是敌人。你会用我托付给你的重要信息做些什么呢?你可以忽视我。你可以滥用它。或者你可以满足我的要求。
And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new.
我把我的自行车拿到车行--我喜欢这么做-- 同样的自行车,他们会对车轮做整形。那里的人说:“当你对车轮做整形时,它会使自行车变成更好。”我把这辆自行车拿回来,他们把有小小弯曲的铁丝从轮子上拿走。这辆车我用了2年半,现在还像新的一样。
So, I'm going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife -- go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and help the people around you
所以我要问在场的所有人,我希望你们把你们内心的车轮做整形一下:真诚面对你们想听到的赞美。你们想听到什么呢?回家问问你们的妻子,她想听到什么?回家问问你们的丈夫,他想听到什么?回家问问这些问题,并帮助身边的人实现它们。
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