032. I found my real mother on Instagram

Hey guys! My name is Annie and this is a story about me and my mom. To start you should know that up until January this year I only knew three things about my birth mother. 1: she had given me my name Annie Grace. 2: I got my honey colored hair and green eyes from her. I figured this one out on my own my dad has dark curly hair and blue eyes 3: she abandoned me when I was only one month old and she left my dad to look after me. Dad never said abandoned of course. He tried to phrase it as nicely as he could. But honestly what else do you call it when a mom runs away without her newborn baby and boyfriend? And she has no intention of seeing either of them again? So anyway for my whole childhood that was all I knew. And it was all I really needed.

After mom ran away dad was lost. His best friend Alicia offered to let us move in with her so that she could take care of him and help him take care of me and she did a really good job of it too - so good in fact that by the time I was 1 Alicia and dad had fallen in love. Alicia is the one in all of my baby photos in fact my first word pointing at her was "mama". So you see I DID have a mom. She may not have given birth to me but she was there for me almost from day one. With Alicia my dad's heart healed. They had two babies of their own, my twin brothers, Luke and Manny, who have dark hair and blue eyes like dad and Alicia. They never lied to me about who my mother was, which I am SUPER grateful for. Can you imagine how traumatic it would have been to find out alicia wasn't my mom when I was a teenager, or later? Still, all I knew about my birth mother were those three facts, even though I was a very curious kid and always asked for more. That all changed on my 15th birthday I guess dad thought I was old enough to handle more information, so he sat me down at our kitchen table with a hot chocolate (whipped cream and sprinkles on top too I knew something was up) and then he pulled out a little yellowed photo album. 

"I know you've been wondering about your birth mother" he said. "And I think it's finally time you saw these. I don't have many pictures of her but I always held on to these in case you wanted them one day." I took the photo album from him in my shaking hands. The first picture was of a much younger dad. He was at a party and he had his arm around a woman who looked just like me. She had smooth blond shoulder-length hair and dimples when she smiled. In the next photo there was a slight baby bump under her shirt. I looked up at dad. "We'd only been dating for a few months when your mom got pregnant. You were an accident but the best kind of accident." I nodded and suddenly saw the writing next to the photo, it said Lisa and Beanie. "Who's Lisa and Beanie?" "Beanie is what I called you before we decided on your name. At the first doctor's appointment they said you were only the size of a baked bean and the nickname stuck. And Lisa... Lisa is your mom's name, Lisa Grace Luckett. I always liked that name. It sounds like a character in a children's book." He sounded sad. I reached out to hold his hand. There were only a couple more photos, mostly of my mom- Lisa Luckett- growing increasingly pregnant. I learned a few more things about her from these photos. She had a huge tattoo of a snake across her shoulders and the back of her neck, and she was really good at painting. Then suddenly on the last page she was lying in a hospital bed, cradling a tiny bundle of blankets. "That's you!" dad said softly Little Annie Grace.

That was the last photo. "The rest of my photos are all of you, you've seen those already" dad explained. I felt something warm and wet on my cheeks and suddenly realized that I was crying "Why didn't she want me?" I whispered. Dad held my hand tighter. "It's not that she didn't want you. She didn't want any of this, she didn't want to marry me, she didn't want to have a husband and family, or a house with a mortgage on it or a nine-to-five job, or even a dog that she had to feed. She was young and she didn't want to be tied down by anything, even a beautiful little baby girl. So she chose freedom and I had to let her go." I nodded, looking down through my tears at the picture of my tiny baby self being cradled by Lisa Luckett and her snake tattoo. Dad made me another hot chocolate and we sat there for awhile, not really talking just keeping each other company. Days and weeks passed and my birth mother was still on my mind. I wondered if she ever thought about me. Late one night, I decided to search for her online, but what if she had gotten married and changed her name? Well it was worth a try.

I searched for Lisa Grace and then Lisa Grace Luckett. A link popped up, it was an Instagram profile and it was public. I clicked "open in app". The lady in the photos was older but her hair was still blonde. Was it her? I scrolled until I found a picture of her in a bathing suit and there it was. The snake tattoo across her shoulders This was my mother! What should I do? Send her a message?! I opened up the DMs bar. My hands were shaking as I started to type: "Hi, you might not remember me..." delete "Hello mom," delete. "My name is Annie Grace. I'm 15 years old and you are my mom." I stared at the message, this was my chance to finally talk to my real mom. Why didn't it feel right? And I started to think, really think because when I looked back on my childhood, when I thought of mom it wasn't Lisa Luckett, who I saw in my mind. I saw Alicia and her crazy curly hair; finger painting with me, listening to my boy problems, taking me on mother-daughter dates, when we'd get our nails done, then go get sushi, and just talk about... everything. 

Lisa had given birth to me, sure, but she didn't want to be my mom. Alicia hadn't given birth to me yet she loved me as much she loved Luke and Manny. Alicia had chosen me. I threw down my phone. I didn't want to message Lisa. I ran downstairs, tears in my eyes into dad and Alicia's room. They were watching a movie and looked up at me in surprise as I barreled into Alicia's arms and started crying in her shoulders. "Thank you for being my mom!" I sobbed as she stroked my hair. I still think about my birth mother sometimes. When I see a blonde woman with tattoos I sometimes wonder if it's her, but really I don't care. And I don't want to know. I think if I reached out to her, I would just get hurt in the end. If she hasn't contacted me in all these years she's probably not the type of person I would want in my life anyway. It's not like dad locked me away, we have never moved, she could have found me very easily if she wanted to! My mother made her decisions and besides I have my dad and my mom, Alicia and two cute little brothers. We are a whole family and I don't need anyone else. 

Now I know a few more facts about my birth mother: 4: her full name is Lisa Grace Luckett 5: she has a snake tattoo 6: from what I saw on her Instagram she still goes to a lot of parties and festivals and doesn't have a family. 7: she didn't want to be a mom. She chose a different life and that's the way it is. Some will say that this is a sad story... But you know what? I'm not sad at all! Sure, I've never met my birth mother but birth mother or not, I've always had Alicia. I don't have her hair or her eyes but I've always had her as a real mom who loves me very much. And that's all anyone can wish for. Do you have any similar stories? Do you have a stepdad or a stepmom who you love very much? Share your story in the comments below. Also please give this video a like and subscribe to our channel before you go, it helps a lot! Thanks a lot for listening to my story! See you next time!