32-我将永远不回来了

I shall not come back

我将永远不回来了

Teacher:What great event happened in 1809?

LittleWilly: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher:Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

LittleWilly: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？

小威利：亚伯拉罕—林肯诞生。

老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？

小威利：亚伯拉罕—林肯过三周岁生日。

Crazydriver

There'sa senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phoneand in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on theradio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"

Hermansays, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"

疯狂的司机

一位高龄老人开着车在高速公路上驾车时，接到了妻子打来的电话。妻子焦急地告诉他说，“赫尔曼，小心！我刚从电台上听到报道说，在280号公路上有一个疯子正在逆行开车！”

赫尔曼说，“我知道，但不是一个，而是成百上千个！”

Theumbrella

Agentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put onthe handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to agentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in tenminutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, anothercard on which was written, "This card belongs to a man who can run tenmiles an hour. I shall not come back."

雨伞

一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道，“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在十分钟内回来。”当他回来时，发现雨伞已经不翼而飞，取而代之的是另一张卡片，上面写着：“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的，我再也不回来了。”

Agirl just like mother

Nomatter which girl he brought home, the young man found disapproval from hismother. A friend gave him advice. "Find a girl just like your mother—thenshe's bound to like her."

Sothe young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told hisfriendly adviser:

"Justlike you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked likemother. And just as you said, mother liked her."

"So,"asked the friend, "what happened?"

"Nothing,"said the young man. "My father hates her!"

和母亲一样的女孩

有位青年发现无论带哪一个女孩回家，总会遭到母亲的反对。一位朋友劝他说：“找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。”

于是这位青年人不停地找啊找，终于找到了这么个女孩。

他对这位朋友说：“正像你说的那样，我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮，甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。正像你说的那样，我母亲喜欢她。”

“那后来呢？”朋友问。

“没什么，”青年人说，“我父亲讨厌她！”