【英文版11】Chris Voss：Leverage Language and Linguistic Cues

【Background】

 【背景介绍】

大家好，欢迎来到《全球精英的5分钟成长学院》。今天，曾任FBI国际危机谈判专家的克里斯·沃斯，将继续和我们一起分享谈判的第二个秘诀：如何把话说好，并留心对手说的话

Among their many skills, master negotiators are masters of language and verbal cues—both as observers and in action themselves. For Chris Voss, three key cues/tools to pay special attention to are tone of voice, “mirroring”, and the use of the word “fair”.

谈判专家一定是语言大师，他们擅长捕捉对手话语中的含义，并能够通过自己说的话给对手释放自己想要对方接受的信号。对于克里斯·沃斯来说，有三个关键线索，需要我们在谈判时额外去关注。它们分别是语调、“模仿” 及对“公平”这个词的使用。

【Course】

【课程】

Tone of Voice

音调

How you use your voice is really important and it’s really driven by context more than anything else. And your tone of voice will immediately begin to impact somebody’s mood and immediately how their brain functions. There’s actually scientific data out there now that shows us that our brains will work up to 31 percent more effectively if we’re in a good mood. So if I smile at you and you see it – or you can hear a smile in someone’s voice – if I automatically smile at you and you can hear that I like you, I will actually be able to reach into your brain, flip the positive the switch. It puts you in a better mood there are mirror neurons in our brain that we have no control over. They automatically respond. And if I intentionally put you in a good mood your brain will be working more effectively. And that already begins to increase the chances that you’re going to collaborate with me. You’ll be smarter and you’ll like me more at the same time.

我们应该如何使用自己的声音？这个问题真的很重要，而语境对声音的影响至关重要。

一旦开口，你的语气会立即开始影响听众的情绪以及他们大脑的运作方式。有科学数据表明，如果我们心情好的话，大脑的工作效率会提高31%。所以，如果你能感受到我在对你微笑，或者你能从我的声音中听出来我在对你微笑，并且你也能从我的微笑中听出来我喜欢你，那我实际上就能进入你的大脑，按下掌管着积极情绪的开关。这会让你的心情更好。我们的大脑里有一些我们无法控制的镜像神经元。它们会自动做出反应。如果我有意让你处于一个好心情，你的大脑将会更有效地工作。而这已经在不知不觉间，增加了你和我展开合作的可能性。你会变得更聪明，同时你也会更喜欢我。

Now upward and downward inflection. Downward inflection is often used to say, “This is the way it is. There’s no other way.” And I will say it exactly like that. If there is a term in a contract that there’s no movement on and I want you to know it and feel it without me having to say, “There’s no movement on this,” which maybe you want to yell at somebody and that’s ineffective because that triggers a different part of the brain and makes people angry and they want to fight. And I’ve done this in contract negotiations. I’ve said things like, “We don’t do work for hire.” Just like that. It lets the other side know there’s no movement whatsoever.

接下来我们来说说音调中的升调和降调。降调通常用来表示，“只能这样，没有别的办法。”我真的会用这样的语气去很严肃地说一件事的。假设我们在签一份合同，我想让你知道对于合同中的某个条款是没有任何商量的余地的，我就会用降调来表达这点，这样一来，不用我亲口告诉你，你自己就能感觉到这一点。我不需要用升调来跟你说“这个条款是没有商量余地的”（给录制老师的提示：这里要用喊叫命令的语气，升调比较高），虽然很多人会忍不住要像这样对别人吼叫。。因为这对我们的合作可没什么好处，这会激发你大脑的另一个区域，让人感到生气，甚至想要打架。我就会用这种降调的语气去谈，比如我曾说：“我们不做雇佣工。”对，就像这样。这种语气让对方知道无论如何是没有讨价还价的余地的。

I also may need to put you in a more collaborative frame of mind. And if I want to ask you a question I’ll say something like, “It seems like this is important to you?” It’s more driven by context. And I can use an upward inflection to encourage you and smile while I’m questioning you. And that will make you feel less attacked by being questioned because people are made to feel a little bit defensive when they’re being questioned anyway. So if I know if I have to question  you, if I want you to think about a different option, then I’m going to be as encouraging as possible while I may be very assertive at the same time.

有时候，在谈判过程中，我需要让你打心眼里更加愿意和我合作。那么当我问你问题的时候，我通常会这么问： "对你来说，这件事好像挺重要的，对吗？"至于这件事具体是什么，是需要看具体的情况来定。但是就算我在质疑你，我也会用升调来鼓励你，或者给你一个微笑。这样你就会觉得我没有那么强的攻击性了，毕竟人在被质问的时候，多少都会有一点防备。所以，当我需要质疑你的时候，或者我希望你能考虑另一种选择，那么我就会尽可能地鼓励你，给你释放积极的信号，但同时我的立场也会很坚定。

Mirroring

模仿

The mirroring that I teach is not the same as the way most people think of mirroring. Most people, when they think of mirroring, they think mirroring body language, mirroring tone of voice, even using the same words. It’s not that at all. The mirroring that I teach is much more simplistic and interestingly enough has a great impact on how the other person interacts with you. And it’s just repeating the last one to three words that they’ve said, word for word. One to three words. And what it really does is it helps connect people’s thoughts. There will almost never be a time when you mirrored the last three words of what someone said when they want to go on and explain and reword and expand.

我所教的模仿和大多数人想到的模仿不太一样。提到模仿，大多数人想到的是模仿别人的肢体语言，语气语调，或者是模仿对方经常说的话。但事实并不是这样。我所教的模仿要简单得多，而且还会让对方非常想和你互动。就是把对方说话结尾的最后一到三个词，一字不差地重复一遍。是的，就是原原本本地重复对方最后说的那一到三个字。这会让你们的想法产生联结。当你重复对方说过的最后三个词时，他们就会想要继续说下去，会进一步解释并重述话里的重要内容。

And that mirror what it has just done as it helps give you a better understanding of what the other person is trying to say. It also gives you more time to think. It’s a way to buy time in a negotiation for yourself. The other person doesn’t see you buying time in any way shape or form. It’s a great way, when you don’t know what to say or where to go, to keep them talking in a way that they’re very comfortable with. One of my clients actually mirrors his counterpart’s positions every single time. They’ll repeat it and they’ll expand it and every time he does that it also gives him a good feel for whether or not they’re really stable in that position or whether there’s quite a bit of softness in a position – completely based on how they reword and responded to his mirror. So a mirror is a great way to keep somebody else talking very comfortably.

而重复对方说过的最后几个词，既可以帮助你更好地理解对方想说的是什么，还可以让你有更多的时间去思考，这是在谈判中为自己争取时间的一种方式。而对方并不会看出来你在特意为自己争取时间。当你不知道该说些什么，或者不知道该把话题往哪个方向引的时候，重复对方说过的最后几个词是一个很好的方法，这会让对方用自己觉得舒服的方式说下去。我有一个客户，他每次都会重复谈判对手的立场，而他的谈判对象就会重述并展开阐述自己的立场，这帮助他更好地判断对手到底是真的不会让步，还是他们其实还有商量的余地，这个判断完全是基于当他重复了对方的话时，对方是如何反馈和重述自己的立场的。所以说，重复对方说过的话，是一个让别人自然而然地表达下去的好方法。

The “F” Bomb

“公平”炸弹

The F-word in negotiations is “fair.” “Fair” is the F-bomb. And when you begin to look for it it’s stunning in how many negotiations somebody drops the F-bomb in the negotiation. And when somebody says, “We just want what’s fair,” that’s actually a really bad sign. One of two things is going on: now the cutthroat negotiators know how much I can punch your buttons if I say “I’ve given you a fair offer.” And that will immediately put you on the defensive and make you worry about whether or not you’re being fair. And most people have an instinctive feeling about fair price, fair market. “Fair” is like this incredibly overused term in negotiations; “I just want what’s fair, what’s the fair market price.”

谈判中的禁忌是说 "公平"这个词。说出"公平 "这两个字就像是在谈判桌上扔了一枚炸弹。如果你留意一下，你会惊讶地发现，在很多谈判中都有人投下了这颗炸弹。当有人在谈判中说，"我们只想要公平 "时这就表示情况已经非常糟糕了。这说明， 现在那些心狠手辣的谈判员知道了如果他们说 "我已经给了你们一个公平的报价"时，你会有多愤怒。你会立刻进入防御状态，因为你不知道自己是不是真的受到了公平对待。大多数人对什么是公平的价格、或者什么是公平的市场是有本能的直觉的。"公平 "在谈判中已经被过度使用到了令人发指的地步了；你会无数次在谈判中听到这句话："我只想要公平，给我一个公平的市场价格。"

So if I say I’ve given you a fair offer and I’m accusing you of being unfair I immediately knocked you back on your heels. It’s a way for me to gain an advantage on you, if I’m that kind of a negotiator. The flip side of that is maybe I’ve been assertive enough in the negotiations and I haven’t been using enough tactical empathy that the other person feels like I’m taking, taking, taking from them. And they’ll respond with, “I just want what’s fair.” That may be someone genuinely telling me, very indirectly, that they feel I’ve been far too aggressive. And if they feel I’ve been aggressive and if they feel treated unfairly, one of two things is going to happen: they’re either going to walk away from a great deal or they’re going to make implementation painful. And when implementation of a negotiation is painful, when they drag their feet, when they don’t make deadlines, when they don’t deliver the product quality they’re supposed to deliver, when they’re not as thorough and paying as much attention to detail because they didn’t feel it was a fair deal, they’ll destroy your profit. So you have to really keep an eye out for the F-bomb in negotiations. And when somebody else feels they’ve been treated unfairly they’re probably going to hurt you over it.

所以，如果我是那种用“公平”这个词来迷惑你的谈判员，我会说我已经给了你一个公平的报价，然后指责你没有给我相应公平的回报，那你应该会立刻大惊失色。而我就在这场谈判中占了上风。反过来，如果我在谈判中很强硬，没有表现出足够多的同理心，那样对方就会觉得我在一味地索取，那他们的回应就会是："我要公平"。 这可能是对方以一种非常委婉的方式真诚地告诉我，他们觉得我太咄咄逼人了。如果他们觉得我很强硬，或者感觉自己受到了不公平的对待，那他们就会终止这个交易，或者会在执行协议时使各种绊子。比如，他们会拖拖拉拉不按期交货，或者不会保证产品的质量，再比如他们做事就不会那么周密、也不注意细节了，这种种一切都是因为他们觉得这不是一个公平的交易。那么当这些情况发生的时候，你的利润就得不到保证了。所以在谈判中，你要十分留意“公平”这颗炸弹。当别人觉得自己受到了不公平的待遇时，他们很可能会因此而伤害你。

 【Summary】

【总结】

在这节课里，克里斯·沃斯和我们一起分享了在谈判过程中，如何把话说好，并留心对手说的话。

Tone of Voice

让我们总结一下今天的内容，首先，你需要注意你的语调

• “Smiling”: Flip the “positive switch” in your counterpart’s brain with a warm and welcoming tone. A happy brain works 30% better and is more receptive to collaboration.

• Inflection: Inflect downward to signal that your term is non-negotiable. Inflect upward to signal encouragement and put your counterpart at ease.

• 学会“微笑”是一个不错的方法：你可以用一种温暖、热情的声音去和对方谈判。因为大脑愉悦时的工作效率比平常高30%，而且更容易接受合作。

• 同时，你还要注意音调变化：音调下沉表明你的条件是没有讨价还价的余地的。音调上扬通常表示鼓励，会让对手感到放松。

Mirroring

其次，你需要学会模仿

• Repeat the last 1 - 3 words of your counterpart’s statements. Use this technique to buy time, especially when you are unsure of your next move.

• Treat your counterpart’s responses as clues about the firmness of her position.

• 重复对方说过的最后1-3个词。用这一招儿为自己争取时间，尤其在你不确定自己下一步要做什么的时候。

• 你也可以根据对手的反应判断ta的立场是否坚定。

The “F” Bomb

最后，要谨慎使用“公平“这个词

• The word “fair” can be a bad sign. Pay attention to how it’s used, and use it wisely.

• Accuse your counterpart of being “unfair” when you want to take an aggressive advantage. When your counterpart accusesyou of being unfair, it may signal that you’re beingtoo aggressive.

• Beware. If you overstep, your counterpart will likely: 1. End the negotiation, or 2. Make implementation painful.

• 出现“公平”一词可能是不好的迹象。

• 当你想要用强硬的态度取得优势时，你可以指责对手的做法“不公平”。而当你的对手指责你不公平时，这可能表示你太过于咄咄逼人了。

• 不过你要当心。如果你超出了对手的容忍限度的话，你的对手很可能不会和你合作，或者在合作过程中捣乱让你付出代价。

以上就是这节课的主要内容。本节目英文版音频和视频均由美国Big Think Edge 独家授权，中文版由喜马拉雅制作播出。感谢收听，我们下集节目再见！