Chapter 1-012

And so, my friend, I hatched the plan. I asked Shelly Stalls out. To fully appreciate  the brilliance of this, you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls. She  always has, though it beats me why. Shelly's nice and she's friendly and she's got  a lot of hair. What's not to like? But Juli hated her, and I was going to make this  little gem of knowledge the solution to my problem. What I was thinking was that  Shelly would eat lunch at our table and maybe walk around a little with me. That  way, anytime Juli was around, all I'd have to do was hang a little closer to Shelly  and things would just naturally take care of themselves. What happened, though, is that Shelly took things way too seriously. She went around telling everybody — including Juli — that we were in love. In no time Juli and Shelly got into some kind  of catfight, and while Shelly was recovering from that, my supposed friend Garrett  — who had been totally behind this plan — told her what I was up to. He's always  denied it, but I've since learned that his code of honor is easily corrupted by  weepy  females.