S01E15
Bree: "So obviously we need to talk."
Danielle: "I'm still a virgin if that's what you want to know."
Bree: "Well, good. But why on earth would you need a condom?"
Danielle: "Because I'm planning on having sex and I don't want to get pregnant."
Bree: "Danielle, you are president of the Abstinence Club."
Danielle: "I wasn't planning on running for a second term."
Bree: "Who were you planning on having sex with?"
Danielle: "John."
Bree: "John Rowland? I thought you broke up with him."
Danielle: "No, he broke up with me. And you want to know why? Because I wouldn't do it."
Bree: "Well, if that's the type of boy he is, then good riddance."
Danielle: "Mom, every boy at my school is that type of boy. And besides, it's different with John. I love him."
Bree: "Oh, sweetheart, just because you give a boy sex doesn't mean you'll get love in return."
Danielle: "So maybe I'm being stupid. What's the big deal? It's just sex."
Bree: "Honey, I am looking out for your happiness. Now, I understand what it's like to be young and feel urges, but I waited until I got married, as did your father, and it was so much better."
Danielle: "Daddy ended up cheating on you."
Bree: "Yes. Well -"
Danielle: "And every since he moved back in, you've been miserable."
Bree: "Why would you say that?"
Danielle: "The walls between our bedrooms are paper-thin. I hear more stuff than I probably should."
Bree: "Oh."
Danielle: "Look, mom, I love you a lot but you really are the last person to ever give anyone advice about sex and happiness."
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