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M: Hello English learners! Welcome back to EnglishPod! My name isMarco.
E: And I’m Erica.
M: And today we’re gonna have a fun… funny lesson.
E: That’s right. So, I think this lesson’s gonna be a little bit different than most of our
lessons, right?
M: Right, today we’re gonna be looking at jokes, which is a very important part of English
speaking culture.
E: Yeah, so, we’re actually… we’re gonna teach you a few, um, prettyhilarious jokes.
M: Hehe.
E: But we’re also gonna teach you some language related to jokes, funny things and, um,
that sort of stuff.
M: Alright, so, in order for us to understand a little bit better the jokes that we’re gonna be
looking at, why don’t we take a look at “vocabulary preview”?
Voice: Vocabulary preview.
E: Two of these words you’ll hear in the dialogue, but one you won’t, but you still need to
know this word, so you can understand the jokes.
M: Alright, so, the word that we’re talking about is not really a word, it’s a sound.
E: Yeah.
M: Moo.
E: Moo.
M: So, moo is the sound that cows make.
E: That’s right, M-O-O.
M: Right, they go “moooo”.
E: Very nice, Marco.
M: Uh, I could do a good cow.
E: Yep. Alright, so, we all know now that that’s what cows say.
M: Exactly, so, it’s gonna be important for the joke and you’ll see why.
E: Okay, now, another word that you need to understand is a dam.
M: So, a dam.
E: A dam.
M: A dam is, uh, is… is like a big wall, right?
E: Well, it’s a wall in water that stops the river from flowing.
M: Okay, so, usually they’ll build dams in rivers and then the water can pass or not.
E: Yeah, it’s something that you use to generate electricity, right?
M: Very good, but there’s another word that sounds exactly the same way, but it’s just
spelled a little differently.
E: That’s right and… and we might hear someone say “Oh, damn!”
M: And that’s an interjection which basically means…
E: “Oh, no!”
M: Right.
E: “That’s terrible!”
M: Aha.
E: Yeah.
M: Damn… I can say “Damn, I forgot my keys”.
E: Uhu. “Damn, we’re late for the movie”.
M: Okay, so, it’s an interesting interjection and we’ll also see it in one of our jokes. And
now, let’s move on to our last word.
E: Nostrils.
M: Okay, nostrils.
E: Nostrils.
M: So, a nostril or your nostrils…
E: Are the two holes in your nose.
M: Right, you breathe through your nostrils.
E: Uhu.
M: Alright, so, now that we’ve taken a look at these three words, why don’t we listen to our
comedian for the first time and then we’ll come back and talk a little bit more.
DIALOGUE, FIRST TIME
E: Okay, so, some pretty hilarious jokes, huh?
M: I don’t think the crowd really enjoyed them all that much.
E: Okay, well, maybe, um, I’m just a fan of really terrible jokes.
M: Hehe. Well, they were pretty funny, but I guess the crowd just didn’t appreciate his, uh,
sense of humor.
E: But you know what, they did use quite a lot of really interesting language, so why don’t
we look at that now in “language takeaway”?
Voice: Language takeaway.
M: On language takeaway we’re gonna be looking at six words today, so let’s get started.
The announcer welcomed everyone and said that, uh, it’s open mic night.
E: Open mic night.
M: So, an open mic night.
E: Okay, well, we know mic is short for microphone, right?
M: Uhu.
E: Now, an open mic night is a chance for anyone can come up and talk into the
microphone.
M: So, you can come up and sing or you can tell jokes, you can do anything, basically.
E: Yep.
M: Alright, open mic night.
E: So, it’s not for professionals, but for people who maybe want to be professionals.
M: Right, amateurs.
E: Uhu.
M: So, it was open mic night and he said they had a lot of greatcomics there.
E: So, comics.
M: A comic.
E: A comic.
M: So, basically, a comic is a person…
E: Uhu.
M: That makes a living by making people laugh.
E: Yeah, someone who… who stands up on stage and tells jokes.
M: Alright, would you say a clown is kind of like a comic?
E: No, they’re different.
M: They’re different, right?
E: A… a comic doesn’t wear a red nose and a crazy…
M: A costume.
E: Yeah.
M: Alright, yeah, cause I hate clowns! Hehe.
E: We do know that about you.
M: Alright, so, a comic. And, well, what comics do is they performstand-up comedy.
E: Stand-up comedy.
M: Stand-up comedy.
E: Okay, so, stand-up comedy is… is really exactly what its name suggests, right?
M: Right, you stand up in front of, uh… an audience and you tell jokes and… or you make
them laugh.
E: Yeah, tell funny stories.
M: It’s a very popular form of entertainment in the United States and the UK.
E: That’s right, um, and I think we’ll talk a little bit more about that at the end of the
lesson. But why don’t we move on to our next word which is routine.
M: A routine.
E: So, the guy says “I’ve been working on my routine”.
M: So, what does he mean by his routine?
E: Well, I guess a… a routine is like a series or a collection of jokes or maybe movements
that you use in a performance.
M: Alright, a routine.
E: So, you can talk about a dance routine.
M: Or in this case a comedy routine.
E: Uhu.
M: So, the series of jokes he’s gonna tell.
E: That’s right, that he practices again and again and again.
M: Alright, and in his routine he said he’s got a lot of zingers.
E: Zingers.
M: A zinger.
E: So, what’s a zinger?
M: Basically, a zinger is like a strong, maybe a little bit rude joke.
E: Yeah, but like, uh, kind of a one line joke, right?
M: Right, exactly.
E: Yeah.
M: And the people that were in the crowd and they were booing him, they were like “Boo”.
E: Mm.
M: Those we call hecklers.
E: Exactly and that’s our last word – a heckler.
M: A heckler.
E: Hecklers.
M: So, let’s listen to some hecklers in action.
The sound of booing hecklers.
E: Alright, well, I think that’s pretty clear. Those are definitely hecklers.
M: Right, they’re very annoying.
E: Uhu.
M: So, now that we finished looking at all the words that are related to comedy and
performances, let’s, uh, take a look at the jokes now in “fluency builder”.
Voice: Fluency builder.
E: Okay, well, we’re not really focusing on… on new phrases for you here, but we thought it
would be helpful to, um, talk a little bit about the jokes to help you understand them, right?
Cause they are, well, I think pretty funny.
M: Yeah, they’re pretty funny, but maybe sometimes they’re kind of hard to understand.
So, why don’t we start with the first joke? So, he said where do you find a one-legged
dog?
E: What’s a… a one-legged dog?
M: Basically, it’s a dog that has one leg.
E: Uh, okay, and the pronunciation here’s… is important, right?
M: One-leggEd.
E: Not, one-leggeD.
M: No.
E: One-leggEd.
M: So, you can say “A one-legged dog, a two-legged dog or a three-legged dog”.
E: Six-legged dog?
M: A six-legged spider, maybe lost two legs in, you know… in a war.
E: Oh, dear. Okay, so, uh, the dog obviously didn’t go anywhere and so that’s why you find
it where you left it.
M: Exactly, so, that’s why it’s kind of funny.
E: Okay.
M: Alright, so, then he said what do you call a sheep with no legs?
E: I don’t know.
M: A cloud. Basically, because, you know, sheep are fluffy add they’re white, so if you take
away their legs, they look like a little cloud.
E: Boo.
M: Alright, let’s look at the next one. He asked what do cows do for entertainment?
E: And then the answer was they rent mooovies.
M: Exactly, so, it’s kind of funny, because he’s relating this wordmovies with what the…
with the sound that cows make, which ismoo.
E: Right, and actually, um, there are a million jokes in English following the same pattern,
right?
M: Yeah, exactly. So, I’m sure you can find a lot more of them and you can share them with
us.
E: Now, my personal favorite joke is the guy says what does a fish say when it runs
into a wall?
M: So, to run into a wall, basically, is to crash against the wall.
E: Yeah.
M: So, what does a fish say?
E: Dam!
M: So, why is this funny? Why does he say “Dam”?
E: Well, cause it’s… I mean if you… if you… if you a person and you run into a wall… Damn!
Like the… you know, just like “Oh, no!”
M: Ouch… ouch.
E: Ou… yeah. But a fish is swimming under the water and like we saw a dam is actually like
a wall in the water.
M: So, he’s saying like “Oh, a wall”.
E: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it’s that… I like that one.
M: Hehe. Alright, the last one was pretty good. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
E: Okay, so, the big holes in their nose.
M: Right, and basically it’s because they have big fingers.
E: So, they can put their fingers in the nose?
M: Yeah, exactly! How…
E: Oh, dear.
M: If the gorilla didn’t have big nostrils, he wouldn’t be able to pick his nose.
E: Maybe he’d have to use a stick.
M: Yeah, but that wouldn’t be convenient, see?
E: Alright.
M: So, that’s why those jokes are funny. They’re very short jokes. Some… of course, some
of them are not actually really funny, but, uh… it’s just a little bit of a taste of short
American jokes.
E: Okay, well, I think we need to hear them one more time in context, so, um, you can all
know how funny or maybe not so funny they are.
DIALOGUE, SECOND TIME
E: And now, if you have any, uh, good jokes of your own, uh, why don’t you come to our
website and tell us about them?
M: Right, come to englishpod.com, share with us any jokes. Of course, they have to be
clean. Don’t come and…
E: No… yeah, no swears.
M: No swearing in the… in the jokes.
E: Yeah.
M: Alright, so, we’ll see you guys there and until next time…
E: Thanks for listening and… Good bye!
M: Bye!
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