Exercise 9

How to Grow Old(Continued)
I think that a successful old age is easiest for those who have strong impersonal interests involving appropriate activities. It is in this sphere that long experience is really fruitful, and it is in this sphere that the wisdom born of experience can be exercised without being oppressive. It is no use telling grown-up children not to make mistakes, both because they will not believe you, and because mistakes are an essential part of education. But if you are one of those who are incapable of impersonal interests, you may find that your life will be empty unless you concern yourself with you children and grandchildren. In that case you must realize that while you can still render them material services, such as making them an allowance or knitting them jumpers, you must not expect that they will enjoy your company.

Some old people are oppressed by the fear of death. In the young there is a justification for this feeling. Young men who have reason to fear that they will be killed in battle may justifiably feel bitter in the thought that they have been cheated of the best things that life has to offer. But in an old man who has known human joys and sorrows, and has achieved whatever work it was in him to do, the fear of death is somewhat abject and ignoble. The best way to overcome it – so at least it seems to me – is to make your interests gradually wider and more impersonal, until bit by bit the walls of the ego recede, and your life becomes increasingly merged in the universal life. An individual human existence should be like a river – small at first, narrowly contained within its banks, and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider, the banks recede, the waters flow more quietly, and in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea, and painlessly lose their individual being. The man who, in old age, can see his life in this way, will not suffer from the fear of death, since the things he cares for will continue. And if, with the decay of vitality, weariness increases, the thought of rest will not be unwelcome. I should wish to die while still at work, knowing that others will carry on what I can no longer do and content in the thought that what was possible has been done  我觉得，在一些适当的活动中，具有强烈的、非个人的兴趣，这样的成功的老年生活是最安逸的。恰恰在这一领域，丰富的经验才是真正有效果的;也刚好在这一领域，由经验而来的智慧才可以灵活运用而又不让旁人感到压迫。不停地嘱咐已经成年的子女别犯错误，那根本没有用，一来因为他们不再信任你的话，二来因为犯错误是教育的必经之路。可是，如果你无法对在意的事情不掺杂个人情感，你可能就会发现，假如自己对儿孙们不操心的话，生活就会空虚无趣。在这种情况下，你一定要认识到，即便你能在物质上给予他们帮助，比如不时给他们钱用来补贴家用或为他们编织毛衣，但是你别期盼他们会喜欢和你在一起。

    有些老人因为害怕死亡，而惶惶不可终日。年轻人有这种情绪还讲得过去，他们有理由担心自己将来会战死杀场。可一旦意识到自己被骗，已经失去了生活中最为美好的东西，他们的愤愤不平倒是情有可原，也无可指责。可是，一个老人已经品尝过了人生的酸甜苦辣，已经达到了自己事业的高峰，如果仍然害怕死亡那就是可鄙可耻的事情了。战胜这种惧怕心理的最好的办法—起码在我看来是—是逐渐拓展自己的兴趣，让它更为宽泛一些，更为脱离个人感情色彩，直到自我的束缚慢慢消去，直到你的私人生活与尘世的生活越发和谐。个人的生存应该如同一条河流—源头是一股溪流，两岸之间狭隘无比，波涛奔涌地冲击岩石，越过瀑布，河岸朝两边慢慢隐退，河面变得越来越宽，河水的流动更为平缓，最终静静地融入大海。河水与海水毫无痛楚地合二为一成为一体，忘却彼此。用这种观点来对待生活的老人就不会害怕死亡，因为他心中所牵挂的事情仍将发展。进一步来说，假如伴随着精力的每况愈下，