九华佛茶,润世清心! Jiuhua Buddhist Tea, moistens the world and clears the heart! 广告词中的“润”取其“泽被”之意,不能简单地理解为“湿润”,因此译作“moisten”是不对的,可以考虑改为“benefit”。此外,虽然英语中“心”也同样可以表示“头脑”,但联系上下文,和clear搭配在一起,则造成“清理心血管,保心脑健康”的歧义。因此建议将该句译文改为: Jiuhua Buddhist Tea benefits the world and refreshes the mind.
“XX” Brand assistant condiment for “Pickle Fish” is a product researched, improved and developed by my company. 这也是一个典型的中国式产品广告翻译,看似字字对应,无可挑剔,但细品之下会发现几处低级失误。首先,“佐料”一词的英文对应词是“condiment”,在前面加上assistant,反而画蛇添足。用“Pickle Fish”来翻译“酸菜鱼”看似完全对等,实际上外国人从“Pickle Fish”这个短语不会明白到底是什么菜,所以必须采用增译法,译为“Fish slices with pickle”。此外,“我公司”翻译成“my company”也很不高明,不符合英语的表达习惯,建议改为“our company”或“us”。因此上述译文建议改为: Our product, “XX” Brand condiment for “fish slices with pickle”, was developed after painstaking research and refinement.
According to the records of “Annals of Jiuhuanshan”, A. D. 718 (Kiayuan6th in the Tang Dynasty) Xinluo Jin Qiaojue Crossed over to Tang, Visited famous mountains to Jiuhuashan, brought teaseeds to plantat at the foot of the Shenguang Mountain, took its delicate fragrance for sitting in meditation.(原英文中有数处拼写错误和大小写错误,为尊重事实,在本文中一律照原样摘录。)
普通消费者阅读广告的目的明确,更是没有耐心去研究中国文化,因而该广告文案首句不谈佛茶,而是罗列了一堆中国古代文化的术语,这些连大多数中国人看来也异常晦涩,更不用说给外国人看了,其传播效果可想而知。因此在汉英广告翻译中应采取“归化”的翻译策略,将源语中的文化因素替换为目的语中的文化因素,或干脆舍弃源语中的文化因素,以方便目的语读者领悟译文。以上文为例,建议改译为: Jiuhua Buddhist Tea has been planted in China for as long as 1300 years. In 718 A.D., a royal monk from Korea brought the tea seeds and planted them at Jiuhua Mountain where he practiced his Buddhist meditation because the refreshing aroma of tea helped relieve his sense of desolation.