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‘She’s too strongfor me…her heart, it wouldn’t give up,’ I said to him. ‘Is she so strong?’ hesmiled. He drew me close to him. ‘Take her, Louis, I know you want her.’ And Idid. I drew close to the bed now and just watched her. Her chest barely movedwith her breath, and one small hand was tangled in her long, gold hair. Icouldn’t bear it, looking at her, wanting her not to die and wanting her; andthe more I looked at her, the more I could taste her skin, feel my arm slidingunder her back and pulling her up to me, feel her soft neck. Soft, soft, that’swhat she was, so soft. I tried to tell myself it was best for her to die—whatwas to become of her?—but these were lying thoughts. I wanted her! And so Itook her in my arms and held her, her burning cheek on mine, her hair falling downover my wrists and brushing my eyelids, the sweet perfume of a child strong andpulsing in spite of sickness and death. She moaned now, stirred in her sleep,and that was more than I could bear. I’d kill her before I’d let her wake andknow it. I went into her throat and heard Lestat saying to me strangely, ‘Justa little tear. It’s just a little throat.’ And I obeyed him. ‘她的生命力太强了……她的心脏不肯放弃,’我对他说。‘她那么强吗?’他笑了笑,把我拉到他跟前。‘杀了她吧,路易,我知道你要她。’我照他说的去做,走近床边,看着她。她的胸脯随着呼吸稍稍起伏着,一只小手缠在那长长的金黄色头发里。我难以忍受了,看着她,想让她不死,想要她;我越看,越能感受到她的肌肤,不由自主地将胳膊伸向她背后,把她托起来,抚摸着她柔软的脖子。柔软,柔软,这就是她,非常柔软。我试图说服自己,最好还是让她死——她会怎么样呢?——但这都是自欺欺人的念头。我要她!于是,我搂她过来,抱在怀里。她滚烫的脸颊贴着我的脸,头发披洒在我的手腕上,轻拂着我的眼皮,使我感受到孩子芬芳的香味和生命的搏动。尽管她病得很重,我依旧能感受到这些。这时她呻吟起来,在昏睡中动了动。我实在受不了了,我要在她醒来之前杀了她。我咬住她的喉咙。这时,我听到莱斯特奇怪地对我说:‘只要开个小口子,她的喉咙很细。’于是我照他说的做了。“I won’t tell you again what it was like,except that it caught me up just as it had done before, and as killing always does, only more; so thatmy knees bent and I half lay on the bed, sucking her dry, that heart pounding again that would notslow, would not give up. And suddenly, as I went on and on, the instinctual part of me waiting, waitingfor the slowing of the heart which would mean death, Lestat wrenched me from her. ‘But she’s notdead,’ I whispered. “我不想再给你讲述一遍那种感觉,只说一点,我又像以前一样深深投入了。每次杀人都是这样,只是这次投入得更深。我不由得双膝跪下,半躺在床上,一直把她的血吸干。那颗心又在咚咚地跳着,不肯慢下来,不愿放弃。我继续吸着,我的本能在等待,等待心跳慢下来,那将意味着死亡。这时,莱斯特突然一把把我从她身上拽开。‘可她还没死,’我低语道。
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