How to praise correctly

How to praise correctly

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02:17
When my son completes a task, I can't help but praise him. It's only natural to give praise where praise is due, right? But is there such a thing as too much praise?
当儿子完成了一项任务,我就会忍不住表扬他。在该表扬的地方表扬是很自然的,对吧?但是,是否有过度表扬这样的情况呢?
According to psychologist Katherine Phillip, children don't benefit from constant praise as much as we'd like to think. "Parents often praise,believing they are building their child's self-confidence. However, over-praising can have a negative effect,"says Phillip."When we use the same praise repeatedly,it may become empty and no longer valued by the child. It can also become an expectation that anything they do must be rewarded with praise. This may lead to the child avoiding taking risks due to fear of disappointing their parents."
根据心理学家凯瑟琳.菲利普的说法,孩子从不断的表扬中得到的好处并不像我们认为的那么多。“父母经常表扬孩子,认为这样可以培养孩子的自信心。然而,过度表扬会产生负面影响,”菲利普说。“当我们重复使用同样的表扬时,它可能会变得空洞,不再被孩子重视。它也可能会成为一种期望,即他们所做的任何事情都必须得到表扬。这可能会导致孩子因为害怕让父母失望而避免冒险。”
Does this mean we should do away with all the praise? Phillip says no. "The key to healthy praise is to focus on the process rather than the outcome. It is the recognition of a child's attempt, or the process in which they achieved something,that is essential," she says. "Parents should encourage their child to take the risks needed to learn and grow."
这是否意味着我们应该摒弃所有的表扬?菲利普说,不是这样。“合理表扬的关键在于关注过程而不是结果。对孩子的努力或他们取得成就的过程表示赞扬才是至关重要的,”她说。“父母应该鼓励他们的孩子去承担学习和成长所需的风险。”
So how do we break the pattern of praise we're all so accustomed to? Phillip says it's important to distinguish between "person praise"and"process praise"."Person praise is simply saying how great someone is. It's a form of personal approval. Process praise is acknowledgement of the efforts the person has just undertaken. Children who receive person praise are more likely to feel shame after losing,"says Phillip.
那么,我们该如何打破我们都习惯了的表扬模式呢?菲利普说,区分“对人的表扬”和“对过程的表扬”很重要。“对人的表扬仅仅是说一个人有多棒。这是一种个人认可。对过程的表扬是对一个人所做努力的肯定。接受对人的表扬的孩子在失败后更容易感到羞愧。”菲利普说。
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