Chapter 1. Scene 4

She turned her head and saw a man standinga little way down the beach. He was older than she, maybe fifty or so, and hisface was deeply tanned, as if he lived here year-round. He didn't appear to bemoving — he simply stood in the water and letit wash over his legs — and she noticedhis eyes were closed, as if he were enjoying the beauty of the world withouthaving to watch it. He was wearing faded jeans, rolled up to his knees, and acomfortable shirt he hadn't bothered to tuck in. As she watched him, shesuddenly wished she were a different kind of person. What would it be like towalk the beaches without another care in the world? How would it be to come toa quiet spot every day, away from the hustle and bustle of Boston, just toappreciate what life had to offer?

She stepped out a little farther into thewater and mimicked the man, hoping to feel whatever it was that he was feeling.But when she closed her eyes, the only thing she could think about was Kevin.Lord knew she wanted to spend more time with him, and she definitely wanted tobe more patient with him when they were together. She wanted to be able to sitand talk with Kevin, or play Monopoly with him, or simply watch TV with himwithout feeling the urge to get up from the couch to do something more important.There were times when she felt like a fraud when insisting to Kevin that hecame first and that family was the most important thing he'd have.

But the problem was that there was alwayssomething to do. Dishes to be washed, bathrooms to be cleaned, the cat box tobe emptied; cars needed tune-ups, laundry needed to be done, and bills had tobe paid. Even though Kevin helped a lot with his chores, he was almost as busyas she was with school and friends and all his other activities. As it was,magazines went straight to the garbage unread, letters went unwritten, andsometimes, in moments like these, she worried that her life was slipping pasther.

But how to change all that? "Takelife one day at a time," her mother always said, but her mother didn'thave to work outside the home or raise a strong and confident yet caring sonwithout benefit of a father. She didn't understand the pressures that Theresafaced on a daily basis. Neither did her younger sister, Janet, who had followedin the footsteps of their mother. She and her husband had been happily marriedfor almost eleven years, with three wonderful girls to show for it. Edward wasn'ta brilliant man, but he was honest, worked hard, and provided for his familywell enough that Janet didn't have to work. There were times when Theresathought she might like a life like that, even if it meant giving up her career.

But that wasn't possible. Not since Davidand she divorced. Three years now, four if you counted the year they wereseparated. She didn't hate David for what he had done, but her respect for himhad been shattered. Adultery, whether a one-night stand or a long affair,wasn't something she could live with. Nor did it make her feel better that henever married the woman he'd been carrying on with for two years. The breach oftrust was irreparable.

David moved back to his home state ofCalifornia a year after they separated and met Annette a few months later. Hisnew wife was very religious, and little by little she got David interested inthe church. David, a lifelong agnostic, had always seemed to be hungry forsomething more meaningful in his life. Now he attended church regularly andactually served as a marriage counselor30 along with the pastor31. What couldhe possibly say to someone doing the same things he'd done, she often wondered,and how could he help others if he hadn't been able to control himself? Shedidn't know, didn't care, really. She was simply glad that he still took aninterest in his son.