Never let another oppress us拒绝被Pua

It is fascinating how often we crave the acceptance and approval of those who won't accept us. It is an unhealthy pattern to continually pursue people who reject us. We do this because we see our lovability as directly related to their approval so we keep trying to be "better" or "do more." We do this so we can approve of ourselves through another person's approval of us, as if their approval finally makes us good enough.

The healthiest way out of this pattern is to look at why we deeply believe we need the acceptance of those people. Do they determine our worth? Should we have to prove ourselves all the time only to hear we are not measuring up? If so, we are not picking the right people to have relationships with. The greatest gift people who don't approve of us give us is a more defined idea of who we are and who we choose to be. We make the internal agreement to never let another oppress us and keep us down.

我们常常渴望获得他人的赞同与认可，这件事很有趣。不断纠缠拒绝我们的人是种不健康的模式，因为我们将自己的吸引力直接与他们的认可挂钩，所以我们一直试图成为更好的自己，或为他们做得更多来获得赞同，这样会让我们会自以为感觉良好，北好像是他们的认可让我们变好了一样。

走出这种模式的最佳方式就是审视为什么我们认为自己那么需要他们的认可。难道他们决定了我们的价值？难道只有一直被告知自己不够完美才能证明自己？如果这样，那就是择友失误。那些不认同我们的人赠与我们最棒的礼物，就是让我们更清楚地了解自己是什么样的人，以及我们的做人标准。我们要在内心与自己和解，不让他人限制了自己。