【美国电台节目】美前第一夫人怎么教孩子?

MICHELLE OBAMA: I'm feeling alittle nervous (laughter).

SEGARRA: If you don'trecognize her voice, that is former first lady Michelle Obama. She's nervousbecause she's about to embark on a tour for her new book, "The Light WeCarry: Overcoming In Uncertain Times." 

SUMMERS: Well, former firstlady Michelle Obama, thank you for being here to talk with us about your newbook.

OBAMA: Thanks for having me.

SUMMERS: One of the things that I love that wasa through line that ran throughout this book is the evolving relationshipsbetween parents and children, and particularly mothers and daughters. 

OBAMA: I think it's a beautiful journey. You know, something I admiredabout my mother is that, you know, she had a clear philosophy about parenting,which is unusual for somebody of her generation. But she always talked about- she said, I'm not raising children; I'm raising adults. And so I always hadan interestingly open and honest conversation with my parents. They encouragedus to talk at an early age, to find our voices. She made sure we felt heard.She made sure that she took our concerns and issues seriously. We were nevertreated as, kids should be seen and not heard. You still have to be ready foryour kids to evolve. You know, who they are at 4 and 7 and what they need fromyou is very different from what they need from you as teenagers and then againas young women. But if you've laid a foundation of trust and honesty, everystage, I've found, is wonderful. It's full. I don't miss any stage. I lovedevery stage of parenting my girls, but I wouldn't go back to any...

SUMMERS: No.

OBAMA: ...Of the stages. Idon't long for the time when they were babies. I loved that time -breastfeeding when you - you know, you could sit and hold them and look at themforever. But now that they're young women, and now I'm less of a day-to-daymanager and more of an adviser, there's a freedom to enjoy them as individuals,to watch them grow. 

SUMMERS: With your girls,though, has that been comfortable for you, the idea of stepping back from thatmanager role and letting them lead, letting them be the people who make you andyour husband, as you say, weak martinis when you come and visit theirapartment. I couldn't stoplaughing when I read that.

OBAMA: You know what? That's- that - it is a hard thing to do, to let your kids be. You know, in thisera of helicopter parenting, you know, where I think parents are very maybeoverly involved in their kids' lives - I was raised to be handed my competenceearly. And I've tried to instill that same kind of - stand by the gate andwatch your kids fly. Be there for them when they come back. Let them know thatyou will be their advocate, but don't step in and try to live their lives forthem. It is frightening to watch your children walk into a brick wall, butthat's what growth is. And - you know, and too many parents try to stop thatprocess, but you got to get adjusted. I mean, I talk about how, you know, whenyou're letting your kids go, you're letting your heart out there in the world -that Barack and I kind of do this kind of crazy parent text check-in, you know,like writing things that are keeping us up at night. Barack one day sent them atext on earthquake preparedness...

...Because they nowlive in L.A. And it's - that's the kind of thing you do as a parent. You think,uh-oh, there are earthquakes. Have I warned them? Are they prepared? So in themiddle of the night, he's sending some article on a 10-step plan that includes,you know, getting earthquake training and stocking up on water. And theresponse from one of my daughters was, OK, which of these things do you thinkwe should do because it's a lot, right? But that's our own anxiety playingitself out. You know, what did I miss? You know, what more can I feed into youto make sure that you're safe and sound and secure? But the truth of the matteris that we don't control that. There are no guarantees that their life is goingto work out, and something bad may happen. That is the hardest thing aboutparenting, is living with that truth. But thealternative is to stop them from growing. And that, in my view, would be thesad outcome. So I have to remind myself of that, you know, when I get the urgeto step in.

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