第一集 《莫妮卡的新室友》片段二 【听力练习】

[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.] 

Ross: (mortified) Hi.

Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. 

Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? 

Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... 

Chandler: Cookie? 

Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. 

Joey: Ohh. 

Monica:(to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. 

Ross: Thanks. 

Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.) 

Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?

Phoebe: Fine! Be murky! 

Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy. 

Monica: No you don't. 

Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me! 

Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian... 

Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know? 

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud? Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well. 

Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number? 

Ross: Sorry. 

Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?

 (Ross gestures his consent.) 

Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones! 

Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again! (Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.) 

Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.) Monica: Rachel?! Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!

Waitress: Can I get you some coffee? 

Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? 

Rachel: Hi, sure! Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.) 

Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 

Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee) Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city. 

Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding. 

Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...