I felt happy again

Since that day, I've been working to learn to speak again. one word at a time.Regaining my cognitive faculties and my speech was so demanding,and the progress was so discouragingly slow,that it absorbed nearly all of my time and energy.For the first time in my life,I became focused on myself and on my problems.It was a numbing,downward spiral-and for the first time in my life I truly felt despair.The more I focused on my problems,the less energy I had to get better.
I recognized that I had come to a fork in the road.I could try to hide my problems,retreat from the world,and focus on myself.Or I could change paths.I resolved that I needed to refocus on expending as much of my cognitive and physical capacity as possible on what I knew to be my purpose.And as I did that- focusing on resolving others' challenges rather than my own— the despair fled,and I felt happy again.
从那天起，我开始努力学习说话。一次一个词。恢复我的认知能力和说话能力是如此的艰难，进展是如此的令人沮丧缓慢，它几乎占据了我所有的时间和精力。有生以来第一次，我开始关注自己和自己的问题。这是一种令人麻木的恶性循环——我有生以来第一次真正感到绝望。我越关注我的问题，我就越没有精力去变得更好。
我意识到我来到了一个岔路口。要么我隐藏我的问题，远离这个世界，专注于自己，要么我改变路线。于是我下定决心，我需要重新集中精力，尽可能地把我的认知和身体允许的能力用在我目标上的事情。我这样做后——专注于解决别人问题而不是我自己的——绝望消失了，我再次感到了快乐。