30. The cost of going to a wedding

Weddings are expensive affairs – there’s nothing new or surprising in that statement. When we talk about the costs of a wedding, we often think about the financial toll on the person paying for it. The outlay on tiered cakes, the dress with a long train, appliques and veil, and canapes at the reception can all add up. But what about the guests? The cost to your friends and family to attend.

The first thing to think about when attending is the price of getting there. Even just a few hundred miles from where you live can bring some expenses – be it transport or staying in a hotel. But some people like to tie the knot in exotic locations, thinking it will make their special day even more special – on a beach in front of palm trees rather than somewhere closer to home. Going to far-flung corners of the Earth to watch the event can really be a dealbreaker for some when deciding if they can make it.

Then there is the gift. What do you give a person on their wedding day? In some cultures, asking for money isn’t the done thing. Sometimes the bride and groom may issue a list of items they want to receive that you have to pick from. But what do you buy? And if it’s money, how much do you give them? How much is too much? These are questions all attendees face – give too little and you may cause offence, too much and you may be out of pocket. And of course, you don’t want to be outdone by a friend giving more than you.

Finally, the last thing you want to feel when going to a wedding is regret about the amount you’ve spent. If you give a good gift and spend a lot on getting there, and the event isn’t great, or the food at the reception isn’t perfect, you might feel a little resentment. Therefore, only give what you can afford to give. Weddings can be expensive for everyone concerned. But people often overlook the cost for guests. In the end, though, that special day is supposed to be a celebration of love above anything else.