结账-切斯瓦夫 · 米沃什-DYE&法夏朗读-20211228

结账

我做过的蠢事可以填满几多账簿。

有几本专记着无意识的行动，

仿佛飞蛾扑火，即便事先知会，

依然不能抵抗火焰的诱惑。

有几本只记着隐隐的担忧，

那些细微的心声，被忽略的警告。

我要把自满和骄傲大书特书，

曾经我也是这二者的信徒，

趾高气扬，毫无顾忌。

然而所有的蠢事都有同一个起因，欲望，

但凡是自己的欲望也好，可惜不是；唉，

我被驱使着总想跟别人一样，

我怕心底藏着的狂野和不羁。

我做过的蠢事罄竹难书，也罢。

毕竟为时已晚，而真相来之不易。

作者 / [美国]切斯瓦夫 · 米沃什

翻译 /  OZ·潇潇

ACCOUNT

The history of my stupidity would fill many volumes.

Some would be devoted to acting against consciousness,

Like the flight of a moth which, had it known,

Would have tended nevertheless toward the candle’s flame.

Others would deal with ways to silence anxiety,

The little whisper which, though it is a warning, is ignored.

I would deal separately with satisfaction and pride,

The time when I was among their adherents

Who strut victoriously, unsuspecting.

But all of them would have one subject, desire,

If only my own—but no, not at all; alas,

I was driven because I wanted to be like others.

I was afraid of what was wild and indecent in me.

The history of my stupidity will not be written.

For one thing, it’s late. And the truth is laborious.

Berkeley, 1980.

Czesław Miłosz

Translated by Czesław Miłosz and Robert Pinsky