每天磨耳朵—绝望主妇S01E01A

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

S01E01-A

1  My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life. But that all changed last Thursday. Of course everything seemed quite normal at first. I made my breakfast for my family.

MARY ALICE: Here we are. Waffles.

2 I performed my chores.  I completed my projects. I ran my errands In truth, I spend the day as I spend every other day - quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection. That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.

3  My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs. Martha Huber, who had been startled by a strange popping sound. Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced. After some initial hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me 6 months before.

4 It's my neighbor. I think she's been shot, there's blood everywhere. Yes, you've got to send an ambulance. You've got to send one right now!

And for a moment, Mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen, grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy. But, only for a moment.

(She rips the label off the blender, and puts it back on her shelf.) If there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side.

5 I was laid to rest on a Monday. After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects. And as people do in this situation, they brought food.

6 Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken. Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.  Of course, she didn't cook much while she was moving up the corporate ladder. She didn't have the time. But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant, her husband Tom had an idea. Why not quit your job? Kids do better with stay at home mums; it would be so much less stressful. But this was not the case. pushes a baby carriage with her free hand, looking weary.

7 In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic she was now forced to get herfriedchicken from a fast food restaurant. Lynette would have appreciated the irony if she stopped to think about it, but she couldn't. She didn't have the time.

 pushes in front of the 3 boys, trying to separate them.)

L:  Hey,  Stop it

P:  But Mom!

L:No, you are going to behave today. I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And, just so you know how serious I am...

PRESTON: What's that?

LYNETTE: Santa's cell-phone number.

PORTER: How'd you get that?

LYNETTE: I know someone, who knows someone, who knows an elf. And if anyone of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas. Are you willing to risk that?

SCAVO kids: Uh-uh! (All shake their heads vehemently)

LYNETTE: Okay.

(She tucks the paper back in her pocket, and straightens.)

LYNETTE: Let's get this over with.