《傲慢与偏见》第21集|Elizabeth and Darcy

Mr. Bennet is amused by a letter he receives from MisterCollins about Elizabeth's rumoured marriage and Lady Catherine's anger. Just asElizabeth is convinced that she will never see Darcy again, Bingley calls byfor Jane - but has he brought his friend with him?

班纳特先生收到了一封来自柯林斯先生的信，信中提到了关于伊丽莎白的结婚传闻和凯瑟琳夫人愤怒的事情，他感到很好笑。正当伊丽莎白确信她再也见不到达西的时候，宾利来找简了--不过，他把他的朋友带来了吗？

Their conversation – from chapter 58 – will be our reading today

(READING– CHAPTER 58)

Nowwas the moment for her resolution to be executed, and, while her courage washigh, she immediately said:

"Mr.Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to myown feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours. I can no longer helpthanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I haveknown it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feelit. Were it known to the rest of my family, I should not have merely my owngratitude to express."

"Iam sorry, exceedingly sorry," replied Darcy, in a tone of surprise andemotion, "that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistakenlight, have given you uneasiness. I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so littleto be trusted."

"Youmust not blame my aunt. Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that youhad been concerned in the matter; and, of course, I could not rest till I knewthe particulars. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all myfamily, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble,and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them."

"Ifyou will thankme," he replied, "let it be for yourself alone. That the wish ofgiving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led meon, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, Ibelieve I thought only of you."

Elizabethwas too much embarrassed to say a word. After a short pause, her companion added,"You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still whatthey were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but oneword from you will silence me on this subject for ever."

Elizabeth,feeling all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, nowforced herself to speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him tounderstand that her sentiments had undergone so material a change, since theperiod to which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasurehis present assurances. The happiness which this reply produced, was such as hehad probably never felt before; and he expressed himself on the occasion assensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do. HadElizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well theexpression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him; but,though she could not look, she could listen, and he told her of feelings,which, in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection everymoment more valuable.

Theywalked on, without knowing in what direction. There was too much to be thought,and felt, and said, for attention to any other objects. She soon learnt thatthey were indebted for their present good understanding to the efforts of hisaunt, who did call on him in her return through London, and there relate herjourney to Longbourn, its motive, and the substance of her conversation with Elizabeth;dwelling emphatically on every expression of the latter which, in herladyship's apprehension, peculiarly denoted her perverseness and assurance; inthe belief that such a relation must assist her endeavours to obtain thatpromise from her nephew which she had refused to give. But, unluckily for herladyship, its effect had been exactly contrariwise.

"Ittaught me to hope," said he, "as I had scarcely ever allowed myselfto hope before. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had youbeen absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged itto Lady Catherine, frankly and openly."

Elizabethcoloured and laughed as she replied, "Yes, you know enough of my franknessto believe me capable of that.After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple inabusing you to all your relations."

"Whatdid you say of me, that I did not deserve? For, though your accusations wereill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, my behaviour to you at the time hadmerited the severest reproof. It was unpardonable. I cannot think of it withoutabhorrence."

"Wewill not quarrel for the greater share of blame annexed to that evening,"said Elizabeth. "The conduct of neither, if strictly examined, will beirreproachable; but since then, we have both, I hope, improved incivility."

"Icannot be so easily reconciled to myself. The recollection of what I then said,of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole of it, is now, andhas been many months, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so wellapplied, I shall never forget: 'had you behaved in a more gentlemanlikemanner.' Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, howthey have tortured me;—though it was some time, I confess, before I wasreasonable enough to allow their justice."

"Iwas certainly very far from expecting them to make so strong an impression. Ihad not the smallest idea of their being ever felt in such a way."

"Ican easily believe it. You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling, I amsure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, as you saidthat I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce youto accept me."

"Oh!do not repeat what I then said. These recollections will not do at all. Iassure you that I have long been most heartily ashamed of it."

Darcymentioned his letter. "Did it," said he, "did it soon make youthink better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to itscontents?"

Sheexplained what its effect on her had been, and how gradually all her formerprejudices had been removed.

"Iknew," said he, "that what I wrote must give you pain, but it wasnecessary. I hope you have destroyed the letter. There was one part especially,the opening of it, which I should dread your having the power of reading again.I can remember some expressions which might justly make you hate me."

"Theletter shall certainly be burnt, if you believe it essential to thepreservation of my regard; but, though we have both reason to think my opinionsnot entirely unalterable, they are not, I hope, quite so easily changed as thatimplies."

"WhenI wrote that letter," replied Darcy, "I believed myself perfectlycalm and cool, but I am since convinced that it was written in a dreadfulbitterness of spirit."

"Theletter, perhaps, began in bitterness, but it did not end so. The adieu ischarity itself. But think no more of the letter. The feelings of the person whowrote, and the person who received it, are now so widely different from whatthey were then, that every unpleasant circumstance attending it ought to beforgotten. You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as itsremembrance gives you pleasure."

"Icannot give you credit for any philosophy of the kind. Your retrospections mustbe so totally void of reproach, that the contentment arising from them is notof philosophy, but, what is much better, of innocence. But with me, it is notso. Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to berepelled. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not inprinciple. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught tocorrect my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them inpride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), Iwas spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly,all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me tobe selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; tothink meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly oftheir sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight andtwenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliestElizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first,but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without adoubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensionsto please a woman worthy of being pleased."

"Hadyou then persuaded yourself that I should?"

"IndeedI had. What will you think of my vanity? I believed you to be wishing,expecting my addresses."

"Mymanners must have been in fault, but not intentionally, I assure you. I nevermeant to deceive you, but my spirits might often lead me wrong. How you musthave hated me after that evening?"

"Hateyou! I was angry perhaps at first, but my anger soon began to take a properdirection."

"Iam almost afraid of asking what you thought of me, when we met at Pemberley.You blamed me for coming?"

"Noindeed; I felt nothing but surprise."

"Yoursurprise could not be greater than mine inbeing noticed by you. My conscience told me that I deserved no extraordinarypoliteness, and I confess that I did not expect to receive more than mydue."

"Myobject then," replied Darcy, "was to show you, by every civility inmy power, that I was not so mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtainyour forgiveness, to lessen your ill opinion, by letting you see that yourreproofs had been attended to. How soon any other wishes introduced themselvesI can hardly tell, but I believe in about half an hour after I had seenyou."

Hethen told her of Georgiana's delight in her acquaintance, and of herdisappointment at its sudden interruption; which naturally leading to the causeof that interruption, she soon learnt that his resolution of following her fromDerbyshire in quest of her sister had been formed before he quitted the inn,and that his gravity and thoughtfulness there had arisen from no otherstruggles than what such a purpose must comprehend.

Sheexpressed her gratitude again, but it was too painful a subject to each, to bedwelt on farther.

Afterwalking several miles in a leisurely manner, and too busy to know anythingabout it, they found at last, on examining their watches, that it was time tobe at home.

(ENDREADING)