《傲慢与偏见》第14集|Uncomfortable Reflections

Shocked andhumbled by Darcy's letter, Elizabeth reflects uncomfortably on George Wickham,the behaviour of the Bennet family and her own unjustified prejudices.

伊丽莎白对达西的信感到震惊和谦卑，她不甚自在地反思乔治威克姆、班纳特一家的行为举止和她自己有失公正的偏见。

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(READING – FROM CHAPTER 36)

She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Ofneither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind,partial, prejudiced, absurd.

"How despicably I have acted!" shecried; "I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valuedmyself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of mysister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! Howhumiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love,I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been myfolly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of theother, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossessionand ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till thismoment I never knew myself."

From herself to Jane—from Jane to Bingley,her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr.Darcy's explanation there had appeared veryinsufficient, and she read it again. Widely different was the effect of asecond perusal. How could she deny that credit to his assertions in oneinstance, which she had been obliged to give in the other? He declared himselfto be totally unsuspicious of her sister's attachment; and she could not help rememberingwhat Charlotte's opinion had always been. Neither could she deny the justice ofhis description of Jane. She felt that Jane's feelings, though fervent, werelittle displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air andmanner not often united with great sensibility.

When she came to that part of the letter inwhich her family were mentioned in terms of such mortifying, yet meritedreproach, her sense of shame was severe. The justice of the charge struck hertoo forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he particularly alludedas having passed at the Netherfield ball, and as confirming all his firstdisapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than onhers.

The compliment to herself and her sister was notunfelt. It soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which hadthus been self-attracted by the rest of her family; and as she considered thatJane's disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations, andreflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety ofconduct, she felt depressed beyond anything she had ever known before.

After wandering along the lane for two hours,giving way to every variety of thought—re-considering events, determining probabilities,and reconciling herself, as well as she could, to a change so sudden and soimportant, fatigue, and a recollection of her long absence, made her at lengthreturn home; and she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful asusual, and the resolution of repressing such reflections as must make her unfitfor conversation.

She was immediately told that the twogentlemen from Rosings had each called during her absence; Mr. Darcy, only fora few minutes, to take leave—but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting withthem at least an hour, hoping for her return, and almost resolving to walkafter her till she could be found. Elizabeth could but just affect concern in missing him; she really rejoiced atit. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object; she could think only of herletter.

(END READING)

(READING – FROM CHAPTER 40)

Miss Bennet's astonishment was soon lessenedby the strong sisterly partiality which made any admiration of Elizabeth appearperfectly natural; and all surprise was shortly lost in other feelings. She wassorry that Mr. Darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so littlesuited to recommend them; but still more was she grieved for the unhappinesswhich her sister's refusal must have given him.

"His being so sure of succeeding waswrong," said she, "and certainly ought not to have appeared; butconsider how much it must increase his disappointment!"

"Indeed," replied Elizabeth,"I am heartily sorry for him; but he has other feelings, which willprobably soon drive away his regard for me. You do not blame me, however, forrefusing him?"

"Blame you! Oh, no."

"But you blame me for having spoken sowarmly of Wickham?"

"No—I do not know that you were wrong insaying what you did."

"But you will know it, whenI tell you what happened the very next day."

She then spoke of the letter, repeating thewhole of its contents as far as they concerned George Wickham. What a strokewas this for poor Jane! who would willingly have gone through the world withoutbelieving that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind, as washere collected in one individual. Nor was Darcy's vindication, though gratefulto her feelings, capable of consoling her for such discovery. Most earnestlydid she labour to prove the probability of error, and seek to clear the onewithout involving the other.

"This will not do," said Elizabeth;"you never will be able to make both of them good for anything. Take yourchoice, but you must be satisfied with only one. There is but such a quantity ofmerit between them; just enough to make one good sort of man; and of late ithas been shifting about pretty much. For my part, I am inclined to believe itall Darcy's; but you shall do as you choose."

It was some time, however, before a smilecould be extorted from Jane.

"I do not know when I have been moreshocked," said she. "Wickham so very bad! It is almost past belief.And poor Mr. Darcy! Dear Lizzy, only consider what he must have suffered. Sucha disappointment! and with the knowledge of your ill opinion, too! and havingto relate such a thing of his sister! It is really too distressing. I am sureyou must feel it so."

"Oh! no, my regret and compassion areall done away by seeing you so full of both. I know you will do him such amplejustice, that I am growing every moment more unconcerned and indifferent. Yourprofusion makes me saving; and if you lament over him much longer, my heartwill be as light as a feather."

"Poor Wickham! there is such anexpression of goodness in his countenance! such an openness and gentleness inhis manner!"

"There certainly was some greatmismanagement in the education of those two young men. One has got all thegoodness, and the other all the appearance of it."

"I never thought Mr. Darcy so deficientin the appearance of it as you used to do."

"And yet I meant to be uncommonly cleverin taking so decided a dislike to him, without any reason. It is such a spur toone's genius, such an opening for wit, to have a dislike of that kind. One maybe continually abusive without saying anything just; but one cannot always belaughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty."

"Lizzy, when you first read that letter,I am sure you could not treat the matter as you do now."

"Indeed, I could not. I wasuncomfortable enough, I may say unhappy. And with no one to speak to about whatI felt, no Jane to comfort me and say that I had not been so very weak and vainand nonsensical as I knew I had! Oh! how I wanted you!"

"How unfortunate that you should haveused such very strong expressions in speaking of Wickham to Mr. Darcy, for nowthey do appear wholly undeserved."

"Certainly. But the misfortune ofspeaking with bitterness is a most natural consequence of the prejudices I hadbeen encouraging. There is one point on which I want your advice. I want to betold whether I ought, or ought not, to make our acquaintances in generalunderstand Wickham's character."

Miss Bennet paused a little, and thenreplied, "Surely there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully.What is your opinion?"

"That it ought not to be attempted. Mr.Darcy has not authorised me to make his communication public. On the contrary,every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept as much aspossible to myself; and if I endeavour to undeceive people as to the rest ofhis conduct, who will believe me? The general prejudice against Mr. Darcy is soviolent, that it would be the death of half the good people in Meryton toattempt to place him in an amiable light. I am not equal to it. Wickham willsoon be gone; and therefore it will not signify to anyone here what he reallyis. Some time hence it will be all found out, and then we may laugh at theirstupidity in not knowing it before. At present I will say nothing aboutit."

"You are quite right. To have his errorsmade public might ruin him for ever. He is now, perhaps, sorry for what he hasdone, and anxious to re-establish a character. We must not make himdesperate."

(END READING)