chapter 55

-chapter 55-

Mr. Kirwin, on hearing this evidence, desired that I should be taken into

the room where the body lay for interment, that it might be observed what

effect the sight of it would produce upon me. This idea was probably

suggested by the extreme agitation I had exhibited when the mode of the

murder had been described. I was accordingly conducted, by the magistrate

and several other persons, to the inn. I could not help being struck by the

strange coincidences that had taken place during this eventful night; but,

knowing that I had been conversing with several persons in the island I had

inhabited about the time that the body had been found, I was perfectly

tranquil as to the consequences of the affair.

I entered the room where the corpse lay and was led up to the coffin. How

can I describe my sensations on beholding it? I feel yet parched with

horror, nor can I reflect on that terrible moment without shuddering and

agony. The examination, the presence of the magistrate and witnesses,

passed like a dream from my memory when I saw the lifeless form of Henry

Clerval stretched before me. I gasped for breath, and throwing myself on

the body, I exclaimed, “Have my murderous machinations deprived you

also, my dearest Henry, of life? Two I have already destroyed; other

victims await their destiny; but you, Clerval, my friend, my

benefactor—”

The human frame could no longer support the agonies that I endured, and

I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions.

A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of death; my

ravings, as I afterwards heard, were frightful; I called myself the

murderer of William, of Justine, and of Clerval. Sometimes I entreated my

attendants to assist me in the destruction of the fiend by whom I was

tormented; and at others I felt the fingers of the monster already grasping

my neck, and screamed aloud with agony and terror. Fortunately, as I spoke

my native language, Mr. Kirwin alone understood me; but my gestures and

bitter cries were sufficient to affright the other witnesses.

Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not

sink into forgetfulness and rest? Death snatches away many blooming

children, the only hopes of their doting parents; how many brides and

youthful lovers have been one day in the bloom of health and hope, and the

next a prey for worms and the decay of the tomb! Of what materials was I

made that I could thus resist so many shocks, which, like the turning of

the wheel, continually renewed the torture?

But I was doomed to live and in two months found myself as awaking from

a dream, in a prison, stretched on a wretched bed, surrounded by

gaolers, turnkeys, bolts, and all the miserable apparatus of a dungeon.

It was morning, I remember, when I thus awoke to understanding; I had

forgotten the particulars of what had happened and only felt as if some

great misfortune had suddenly overwhelmed me; but when I looked around

and saw the barred windows and the squalidness of the room in which I

was, all flashed across my memory and I groaned bitterly.

This sound disturbed an old woman who was sleeping in a chair beside

me.  She was a hired nurse, the wife of one of the turnkeys, and her

countenance expressed all those bad qualities which often characterise

that class.  The lines of her face were hard and rude, like that of

persons accustomed to see without sympathising in sights of misery. Her

tone expressed her entire indifference; she addressed me in English,

and the voice struck me as one that I had heard during my sufferings.

“Are you better now, sir?” said she.

I replied in the same language, with a feeble voice, “I believe I am;

but if it be all true, if indeed I did not dream, I am sorry that I am

still alive to feel this misery and horror.”

“For that matter,” replied the old woman, “if you mean about the

gentleman you murdered, I believe that it were better for you if you

were dead, for I fancy it will go hard with you!  However, that’s none

of my business; I am sent to nurse you and get you well; I do my duty

with a safe conscience; it were well if everybody did the same.”

I turned with loathing from the woman who could utter so unfeeling a

speech to a person just saved, on the very edge of death; but I felt

languid and unable to reflect on all that had passed.  The whole series

of my life appeared to me as a dream; I sometimes doubted if indeed it

were all true, for it never presented itself to my mind with the force

of reality.

As the images that floated before me became more distinct, I grew

feverish; a darkness pressed around me; no one was near me who soothed

me with the gentle voice of love; no dear hand supported me.  The

physician came and prescribed medicines, and the old woman prepared

them for me; but utter carelessness was visible in the first, and the

expression of brutality was strongly marked in the visage of the

second.  Who could be interested in the fate of a murderer but the

hangman who would gain his fee?

These were my first reflections, but I soon learned that Mr. Kirwin had

shown me extreme kindness.  He had caused the best room in the prison

to be prepared for me (wretched indeed was the best); and it was he who

had provided a physician and a nurse.  It is true, he seldom came to

see me, for although he ardently desired to relieve the sufferings of

every human creature, he did not wish to be present at the agonies and

miserable ravings of a murderer.  He came, therefore, sometimes to see

that I was not neglected, but his visits were short and with long

intervals.

今日短语

1. converse with sb.与某人交谈

2. succeed to继承；继……之后

3. on the point of正要…..之际

4. strike sb. as… 给某人某种印象

5. with a safe conscience问心无愧地

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