Control the process of doing homework
大家做作业时会不会有父母陪着呢？是更喜欢一个人做作业还是有人帮忙呢？接下来这篇文章鼓励大家独立起来，自己的事情自己做，快来看看有没有道理吧~
Many parents believe that if they don't control the process of doing homework, their kid will study badly. But the researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and Duke proved the opposite. They have been collecting data about how the involvement of parents in the teaching process affects marks and found out that parents’ assistance is useless during primary school and affects the examination results negatively in secondary and high school.
许多家长认为，如果不控制孩子写作业的过程，他们的学习效果就会很差，然而科学研究的结果却恰恰相反。美国德克萨斯大学奥斯汀分校和杜克大学的研究人员就家长融入教学过程对分数的影响进行了长时间的数据收集。他们发现在小学阶段，父母的帮助其实对孩子的学习毫无用处，甚至到了初高中阶段还会拉低孩子们的考试成绩。
Bright Side is going to tell you why a child (and not their parents) should be responsible for their homework.
接下来Bright Side 将向大家解释做作业为何是孩子的事，父母无需为此负责。
1
A child loses their motivation to study.
孩子会丧失学习动力
According to the results of this research, the more parents are involved in the process of doing homework with their kids, the less the child will want to learn. Children whose parents sit next to them and tell them what to do, controlling every step and even doing homework for them, have the lowest motivation. However, schoolchildren whose parents don't “press” them have a bigger desire to learn something new.
研究结果显示，在做作业过程中，家长的介入越多，孩子越不想学习。如果家长坐在旁边教孩子一步步写作业甚至代劳，这样的孩子学习动力是最低的。相反，如果孩子的父母不“施压”，他们获取新知识的欲望就越强。
As a parent, try to loosen the reins and only help if your kid asks for it themselves. In this case, you should explain to the kid what they didn't understand but you shouldn't do the task for them. If your kid can't stand doing homework, a psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya recommends “joining” their emotions: admit that they're right to not want to rewrite that boring paragraph or to write the same letter 10 lines in a row. After that, teach them “to swallow a frog” (which means to cope with difficult and unpleasant situations) by sharing your own method of fulfilling unwanted tasks.
在孩子写作业时，父母们可以试着放松对他们的管控，只在他们需要的时候再给予帮助，但家长不能代替他们写作业，而应该为他们答疑解惑。要是你的孩子不想写了，可以试试心理学家柳德米拉·佩特兰诺夫斯科亚（Lyudmila Petranovskaya）的建议——与孩子共鸣：承认他们不想重写无聊的段落或一个字母连续写十行是对的，然后再跟他们分享自己是用什么方法完成不想做的任务的，帮他们克服困难。
2
They don't learn to be responsible.
他们学不会负责任
By making your kid do homework, controlling the process and punishing them for bad marks, you take on their responsibility to study, which means you remove it from your child. Therefore, as long as you are there controlling them, the kid won't take on the responsibility.
让孩子做作业，监控整个过程，考砸了还惩罚他们——这样的做法其实是家长承担了本应属于孩子的责任。因此，只要他们做作业时你在一旁监控，孩子就不会对自己的作业负责。
According to Lyudmila Petranovskaya, raising a kid by using “a carrot on a stick”, doesn't do them any favors because it can affect their perception of things in their adult life. Punishment and praises should be there so that a person knows what to choose from. Let the consequences happen. “Have you forgotten that a teacher said to draw a picture? It means you'll have to do it instead of playing computer games. Have you not done your homework? Explain that to your teacher yourself.” The ability to be responsible for your own actions and to appropriately distribute your attention and time to the future is more important than the ability to clearly execute other people's tasks.
柳德米拉表示，“奖励型”养育方式对孩子没什么好处，因为这会影响他们成年后对事物的看法。只有奖惩并存，孩子们才知道应该选择什么。就让不好的结果发生吧。“你忘了老师要求你画张画了吗？所以你应该完成老师给的任务，而不是玩电脑游戏。没做作业？自己跟老师解释吧！”能够对自己行为负责并合理分配时间与精力比能明确执行其他人的任务更重要。
3
The relationship between parents and kids
spoils.
损坏父母与子女之间的关系
Homework is done. Mother lost her voice. Daughter is deafened from screaming. Neighbors learned the poem by heart. And the dog retold everything,” is a joke many of us have heard before. But when it comes to doing homework with your kid, it is actually not all that funny. Instead of controlling each task, psychologists recommend building a trusting relationship with your kid and spending more time together. Read aloud, discuss things happening in science and in the world, and find new interesting things to do together.
“作业做完了，妈妈终于安静下来不再大喊大叫了，女儿都被震聋了。听到的邻居们知道发生了什么事，狗的叫声似乎又将事情又讲述了一遍，”这个笑话我们之前都听过。但当你陪孩子一起做作业时，一点儿都不像那个笑话一样有趣。心理学家建议，家长不应监控孩子的每一个学习任务，而应跟他们建立一种信任关系，多花些时间陪伴他们。比如大声朗读，一起讨论科学领域和世界上正在发生的事，或者找些有趣的事一起来做。
If you are not willing to accept any marks but an ’A’, ask yourself why you feel so strongly about it. Children don't feel loved in families where a bad mark can completely change the way they're treated. Psychologists say that studying is the personal task of each kid, while the personal task of parents is to love their child unconditionally. Love is more important than marks, isn't it?
如果你只愿意接受孩子拿最好的成绩“A”，不妨问问自己为什么如此固执。如果分数低能够彻底改变你对待孩子的方式，那么在这样的家庭里孩子们是不会感受到自己被爱的。心理学家说，学习是孩子自己的任务，而家长的任务则是无条件地爱孩子。爱比分数更重要，不是吗？
How do you motivate your kids if they don't want to do their homework? Please tell us about your secrets of raising kids in the comments!
你的父母是如何激励你做作业的呢？在评论区写下你的心路历程吧！
本文为百度翻译原创内容
翻译：井玉倩（北语） 编辑：Tina
文章来源：Bright Side
Many parents believe that if they don't control the process of doing homework, their kid will study badly. But the researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and Duke proved the opposite. They have been collecting data about how the involvement of parents in the teaching process affects marks and found out that parents’ assistance is useless during primary school and affects the examination results negatively in secondary and high school.
许多家长认为，如果不控制孩子写作业的过程，他们的学习效果就会很差，然而科学研究的结果却恰恰相反。美国德克萨斯大学奥斯汀分校和杜克大学的研究人员就家长融入教学过程对分数的影响进行了长时间的数据收集。他们发现在小学阶段，父母的帮助其实对孩子的学习毫无用处，甚至到了初高中阶段还会拉低孩子们的考试成绩。
Bright Side is going to tell you why a child (and not their parents) should be responsible for their homework.
接下来Bright Side 将向大家解释做作业为何是孩子的事，父母无需为此负责。
1
A child loses their motivation to study.
孩子会丧失学习动力
According to the results of this research, the more parents are involved in the process of doing homework with their kids, the less the child will want to learn. Children whose parents sit next to them and tell them what to do, controlling every step and even doing homework for them, have the lowest motivation. However, schoolchildren whose parents don't “press” them have a bigger desire to learn something new.
研究结果显示，在做作业过程中，家长的介入越多，孩子越不想学习。如果家长坐在旁边教孩子一步步写作业甚至代劳，这样的孩子学习动力是最低的。相反，如果孩子的父母不“施压”，他们获取新知识的欲望就越强。
As a parent, try to loosen the reins and only help if your kid asks for it themselves. In this case, you should explain to the kid what they didn't understand but you shouldn't do the task for them. If your kid can't stand doing homework, a psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya recommends “joining” their emotions: admit that they're right to not want to rewrite that boring paragraph or to write the same letter 10 lines in a row. After that, teach them “to swallow a frog” (which means to cope with difficult and unpleasant situations) by sharing your own method of fulfilling unwanted tasks.
在孩子写作业时，父母们可以试着放松对他们的管控，只在他们需要的时候再给予帮助，但家长不能代替他们写作业，而应该为他们答疑解惑。要是你的孩子不想写了，可以试试心理学家柳德米拉·佩特兰诺夫斯科亚（Lyudmila Petranovskaya）的建议——与孩子共鸣：承认他们不想重写无聊的段落或一个字母连续写十行是对的，然后再跟他们分享自己是用什么方法完成不想做的任务的，帮他们克服困难。
2
They don't learn to be responsible.
他们学不会负责任
By making your kid do homework, controlling the process and punishing them for bad marks, you take on their responsibility to study, which means you remove it from your child. Therefore, as long as you are there controlling them, the kid won't take on the responsibility.
让孩子做作业，监控整个过程，考砸了还惩罚他们——这样的做法其实是家长承担了本应属于孩子的责任。因此，只要他们做作业时你在一旁监控，孩子就不会对自己的作业负责。
According to Lyudmila Petranovskaya, raising a kid by using “a carrot on a stick”, doesn't do them any favors because it can affect their perception of things in their adult life. Punishment and praises should be there so that a person knows what to choose from. Let the consequences happen. “Have you forgotten that a teacher said to draw a picture? It means you'll have to do it instead of playing computer games. Have you not done your homework? Explain that to your teacher yourself.” The ability to be responsible for your own actions and to appropriately distribute your attention and time to the future is more important than the ability to clearly execute other people's tasks.
柳德米拉表示，“奖励型”养育方式对孩子没什么好处，因为这会影响他们成年后对事物的看法。只有奖惩并存，孩子们才知道应该选择什么。就让不好的结果发生吧。“你忘了老师要求你画张画了吗？所以你应该完成老师给的任务，而不是玩电脑游戏。没做作业？自己跟老师解释吧！”能够对自己行为负责并合理分配时间与精力比能明确执行其他人的任务更重要。
3
The relationship between parents and kids
spoils.
损坏父母与子女之间的关系
Homework is done. Mother lost her voice. Daughter is deafened from screaming. Neighbors learned the poem by heart. And the dog retold everything,” is a joke many of us have heard before. But when it comes to doing homework with your kid, it is actually not all that funny. Instead of controlling each task, psychologists recommend building a trusting relationship with your kid and spending more time together. Read aloud, discuss things happening in science and in the world, and find new interesting things to do together.
“作业做完了，妈妈终于安静下来不再大喊大叫了，女儿都被震聋了。听到的邻居们知道发生了什么事，狗的叫声似乎又将事情又讲述了一遍，”这个笑话我们之前都听过。但当你陪孩子一起做作业时，一点儿都不像那个笑话一样有趣。心理学家建议，家长不应监控孩子的每一个学习任务，而应跟他们建立一种信任关系，多花些时间陪伴他们。比如大声朗读，一起讨论科学领域和世界上正在发生的事，或者找些有趣的事一起来做。
If you are not willing to accept any marks but an ’A’, ask yourself why you feel so strongly about it. Children don't feel loved in families where a bad mark can completely change the way they're treated. Psychologists say that studying is the personal task of each kid, while the personal task of parents is to love their child unconditionally. Love is more important than marks, isn't it?
如果你只愿意接受孩子拿最好的成绩“A”，不妨问问自己为什么如此固执。如果分数低能够彻底改变你对待孩子的方式，那么在这样的家庭里孩子们是不会感受到自己被爱的。心理学家说，学习是孩子自己的任务，而家长的任务则是无条件地爱孩子。爱比分数更重要，不是吗？
How do you motivate your kids if they don't want to do their homework? Please tell us about your secrets of raising kids in the comments!
你的父母是如何激励你做作业的呢？在评论区写下你的心路历程吧！
本文为百度翻译原创内容
翻译：井玉倩（北语） 编辑：Tina
文章来源：Bright Side
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