179 天：To be a better me

第179天：“You’d kidnap me?” “Oh yes,” he grins. “Hold me against my will?” Jeez this is hot. “Oh yes,” he nods. “And then we’re talking TPE 24/7.” “You’ve lost me,” I breathe, my heart is pounding… is he serious? “Total Power Exchange – round the clock.” His eyes are shining, and I can feel his excitement from where I sit. Holy shit.“So you have no choice,” he says sardonically. “Clearly.” I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice as my eyes reach for the heavens. “Oh, Anastasia Steele, did you just roll your eyes at me? Crap.“No,” I squeak. “I think you did. What did I say I’d do to you if you rolled your eyes at me again?” Shit. He sits down on the edge of the bed. “Come here,” he says softly. I blanch. Jeez… he’s serious. I sit staring at him completely immobile. “I haven’t signed,” I whisper.“I told you what I’d do. I’m a man of my word. I’m going to spank you, and then I’m going to f you very quick and very hard. Looks like we’ll need that condom after all.”His voice is so soft, menacing, and it’s damned hot. My insides practically contort with potent, needy, liquid, desire. He gazes at me, waiting, eyes blazing. Tentatively, I uncurl my legs. Should I run? This is it, our relationship hangs in the balance, right here, right now. Do I let him do this or do I say no, and then that’s it? Because I know it will be over if I say no. Do it! My inner goddess pleads with me, my subconscious is as paralyzed as I am.“I’m waiting,” he says. “I’m not a patient man.” Oh for the love of all that’s holy. I’m panting, afraid, turned on. Blood pounding through my body, my legs are like jelly. Slowly, I crawl over to him until I am beside him.“Good girl,” he murmurs. “Now stand up.” Oh shit… can’t he just get this over with? I’m not sure if I can stand. Hesitantly, I clamber to my feet. He holds his hand out, and I place the condom in his palm. Suddenly he grabs me, tipping me across his lap. With one smooth movement, he angles his body so my torso is resting on the bed beside him. He throws his right leg over both of mine and plants his left forearm on the small of my back, holding me down so I cannot move. Oh fuck.“Put your hands up on either side of your head,” he orders. I obey immediately. “Why am I doing this, Anastasia?” he asks. “Because I rolled my eyes at you,” I can barely speak. “Do you think that’s polite?” “No.” “Will you do it again?” “No.” “I will spank you each time you do it, do you understand?”(1)Hold me against my will: against the will: Without one's permission or consent. Typically used to describe an action or activity that one has been forced to do. 违背意愿的;迫使做 e.g.: The attacker forced the woman into his car against her will.(2) TPE 24/7: total power exchange 24/7 (3)round the clock: throughout the day and night; without interruption; e.g.: He's very sick and needs round-the-clock care. Round the table : (4)Reach for the heavens: the heavens: the sky reach for the stars: To set one's goals or ambitions very high; to try to attain or achieve something particularly difficult. 志向远大；完成不可能之事e.g.: My parents always taught me to reach for the stars when I was growing up—that I could be anything I set my mind to!(5)Squeak：If something or someone squeaks, they make a short, high-pitched sound. / To squeak through or squeak by means to only just manage to get accepted, get included in something, or win something. e.g: In spite of a dismal record at school, she narrowly squeaked into design school.(6)Blanch: blanch at (something): To balk or hesitate when faced with something unpleasant. e.g.: All of my friends ran into the creepy haunted house, but I blanched at the sight of it. / blanch with (an emotion) = To become visibly pale as a result of feeling a particular emotion. E.g.: All of my friends ran into the creepy haunted house, but I blanched with fear when I saw it. Blanch: If you blanch vegetables, fruit, or nuts, you put them into boiling water for a short time, usually in order to remove their skins, or to prepare them for freezing. 焯水(7)A man of his word: A man who can be expected to keep or follow through with his promises or intentions; a truthful, trustworthy, or reliable person. 我是一个言而有信的人 (8)Looks like we’ll need that condom after all：after all: In consideration of; considering. Used in this way, "after all" appears in conjunction with a reason that the speaker wants to the listener to think about. 毕竟；考虑到e.g.: Be nice to Jason. He had a hard day at work, after all. / You should visit your mother more often—after all, she won't live forever. In spite of a previous action or situation. Used in this way, it typically emphasizes a change in plans. 最终；终究e.g.: Ray's work schedule changed, so he'll be able to visit us after all.(9)Menacing [ˈmenəs]: If you say that someone or something is a menace to other people or things, you mean that person or thing is likely to cause serious harm. 大麻烦；大威胁 e.g.: In my view you are a menace to the public. / If you say that one thing menaces another, you mean that the first thing is likely to cause the second thing serious harm. E.g.: The European states retained a latent capability to menace Britain's own security. (10)Our relationship hangs in the balance: If something hangs in the balance, it is uncertain whether it will happen or continue. 不好说／还说不定 Will you go the that conference. It hangs in the balance. / The fate of the project hangs in the balance.(11)Get over with sth: If you want to get something unpleasant over with, you want to do it or finish experiencing it quickly, since you cannot avoid it. 摆脱，结束。E.g.: The sooner we start, the sooner we'll get it over with.