迪斯尼的电影在毁掉米老鼠 Disney, your films are starting to take the Mickey

If you've been to the cinema this year, the chances are it was to watch a Disney movie. The House of Mouse is tearing up the global box office. Of the $18 billion spent at cinemas globally this year, nearly half (43 percent) has gone to the big dungeon of gold Disney keeps under Cinderella's castle.

你今年在电影院会看到很多迪斯尼电影。今年全球票房总收入的180亿美元中，有43%进了迪斯尼的腰包。

By July, the company had broken its record thanks to five films earning more than a billion dollars (Avengers: Endgame, Lion King, Captain Marvel, Aladdin, Toy Story 4). And there's more to come, with Frozen 2 and a new Star Wars movie due by the end of the year.

迪斯尼在七月份打破了记录，五部电影（《复仇者联盟4:终局之战》、《狮子王》、《惊奇队长》、《阿拉丁》和《玩具总动员4》）总盈利超过十亿美元。今年底还有《冰雪奇缘2》和《星战》上映。

So far, Disney has earnt three times more than second place Universal studio. And it is on course to become the first studio to earn more than $10 billion at the box office in a single year.

目前迪斯尼的收入已超过环球影业三倍，成为首个在一年内盈利超过100亿美元的公司。

These are big numbers. And it might feel like we're drowning under Disney at the moment. That's because we are—and for a good reason.

貌似我们现在已经淹没在迪斯尼电影中了，原因也很简单。

Disney is taking on Netflix and launching its own streaming service on Nov 12. And while the company is sitting on nearly a hundred years of beloved classic content, it wants to launch Disney+ with a bang. Cue many, many releases, rushed out to cinemas and onto the new streaming platform.

近百年来坐拥多款经典内容的迪斯尼在去年11月12日上线了Disney+流媒体平台。

But quantity doesn't mean quality. The money might be up, but so are critic's noses.

但是数量不代表质量。投资增多，批评声音也增加了。

Take the recent computer animated "reimaginings" of Disney classics. This year alone, we've had three. All with huge budgets, ground-breaking computer imagery, and experienced directors. Combined, they made nearly three billion dollars. Yet, a quick look at Metacritic shows something is going very, very wrong.

今年我们已经看过三部迪斯尼经典动画“回炉”了，全部大制作，拥有突破性的电脑特效和经验丰富的导演，票房总收入近三十亿美元。然而看看专业网站Metacritic上的得分就知道它们问题很大。

Dumbo (1941): 96/100 vs Dumbo (2019) 51/100

1941年版《小飞象》96分，2019年版51分

Aladdin (1992) 86/100 vs Aladdin (2019) 53/100

1992年版《阿拉东》86分，2019年版53分

Lion King (1994) 88/100 vs Lion King (2019) 55/100

1994年版《狮子王》88分，2019年版55分

Audience's remarks have been scathing too. "Boring." "Dull." "Pointless."

观众们的评价也不好：“无聊”、“好傻”、“空洞”。

True fact. In the original Lion King, Jeremy Irons put so much into his performance as evil Scar that he exploded his voicebox. In the new one, Scar actor Chiwetel Ejiofor sounds like he's reading his lines down the phone.

确实如此。原版《狮子王》中刀疤一角的配音演员Jeremy Irons倾情投入；但新版《狮子王》中，刀疤的配音演员Chiwetel Ejiofor就好像在干巴巴地读台词。

The original Dumbo was a redemption tale: bullied baby elephant, discovers talent, squirts water on the bullies. It was short (64 minutes! Take note, modern Hollywood!), trippy, and full of heart.

原版《小飞象》是关于救赎的故事：受欺负的小象发现了自身的才能。电影很短（才64分钟，注意了，当代好莱坞！）充满想象力和爱。

But the new one—as far as I can work out—  is about Dumbo's zoo being taken over in a corporate buyout. Because that's what the kids want. A two hour movie about mergers and acquisitions. Mm. Initial share offerings.

然而新版《小飞象》是关于小象所在动物园被别人买走，因为孩子们喜欢看。两个小时的电影都是关于收购。

So it's the filmmakers' fault we have these crummy knockoffs, right? Big bad Disney grabbing money again? No, not totally. I'm part of the problem. And I'm sure you are too.

所以这是电影制作方的错误，对吧？大块头的坏人迪斯尼又来圈钱？不，这不是全部答案。我也是问题的一部分，你也是。

These films sell. Disney knows that people like you and me, who grew up watching the originals, will skip off to the cinema to see what's different.

这些电影大卖，因为迪斯尼知道大家是看着原版动画长大的，会跑到电影院看新版动画有什么不同。

Disney knows that it can make a shot-for-shot remake of Lion King, that's somehow 30 minutes longer, less fun and with "I think my glasses are blurry, oh no, it's the picture that's blurry" visuals. Why? Because the audience, pepped up on nostalgia, will fall for it every time.

迪斯尼一帧帧重做了《狮子王》，而且居然比原版还长了半小时。新版电影无趣，而且画面模糊，我本来还以为是我的眼镜没擦干净呢。那大家干嘛还去捧场呢？因为怀旧，每次我们都会落入圈套。

"Give me more childhood!" we shout, holding out our money.

我们拱手交钱，大喊：“给我更多的童年！”

"Ah ha ha," Disney laughs back. "You idiot, idiot sheep!" And punishes us, and sets the song Can you feel the love tonight? in the daytime.

迪斯尼笑着回复：“哈哈，你们这群傻子！”然后在新版《狮子王》里，在白天插入了《今夜你是否能感受到我的爱？》这首歌。

"Noo—!" we cry back, "Fooled again!"

“不——！”我们哭喊着：“又被骗了！”

The truth is: we get the films we deserve. The onus isn't just on filmmakers to make something original; it's for us to make good decisions.

实际上，我们活该。电影制作方没义务做原版内容，是我们有义务作出正确决定。

More to the point: it's your responsibility, China. You.

说得更明白一些：这是你的责任，中国。

China is about to become the world's biggest film market. Wandering Earth and Ne Zha—two supremely original films—are the world's 7th and 8th biggest movies this year, despite only really being released in China. That made Hollywood sit up.

中国将成为世界最大的电影市场。《流浪地球》和《哪吒之魔童降世》两部原创电影已成为今年全球票房第七位和第八位。但这两部电影其实只在中国正式上映了，这让好莱坞警醒。

And you've done it once already. In June, the beautiful, 18-year-old studio Ghibli classic Spirited Away topped the Chinese box office, rather than the "it's ok, but, why do we need this, didn't the third one end the series perfectly already?" Toy Story 4. Good job China. Keep going. Send a message.

这种情况其实已经发生过了。今年六月，吉卜力动画工作室的《千与千寻》获得中国票房冠军，比《玩具总动员4》表现好，后者的观感是“电影还行，但是第三部已经完美结束了这个系列，干嘛还拍第四部”？干得好，中国，继续前进。

Disney are taking the Mickey. Don't let them.

迪斯尼在毁掉米老鼠，别让他们得逞。

Next time a remake comes out, threatening to jump over your childhood: don't give in to the curiosity. Let it go.

下次迪斯尼再重塑童年经典的时候，别去看了，好奇心害死猫。