66.当你苛刻要求自己时，你需要原谅你自己

Human growth is a process of experimentation, trial, and error ultimately leading to wisdom.
人类的成长是一个经历,试验和最终失败而引向智慧的过程。
Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action, you can never quite be certaion how the situation will turn out.
每次你选择相信自己,开始采取行动时,你绝不会知道这个情况会如何。
Sometimes you are victorious, and sometimes you become disillusioned.
又是你是胜者，但是有时你又会幻灭。
The failed experiments, however, are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful; in fact, you usually learn more from your perceived "failures" than you do from your perceived "success".
然而，失败的经历远远高于成功，事实上，你从失败里学到的比在成功里学到的更多。
If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake or failed to live up to your own expectations, you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged wrong-doer.
如果你自责犯了一个错误或辜负了自己的期望，你将很可能在你成功和失败之间竖起一道障碍。
However, perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame, and it is not possible to learn anything meaning while you are engaged in blaming.
然而,为过去的行为内疚、自责都是错误的，当你在忙着自责的时候，它不会让你学到什么。
Therefore, forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself. Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt. There are four kinds of forgiveness.
因此，当你苛刻要求自己的时候，你需要原谅你自己。宽恕是一种消除情感负担的行为，有四种宽恕：
The first is beginner forgiveness for yourself.
第一：从原谅自己开始。
The second of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another.
第二：原谅别人
The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself. This is for serious transgressions, the ones you carry with deep shame when you do soimething that violates your own values and ethics, you create a chasm between your standards and your actual behavior.
第三：再次原谅自己，这是最重要的，是随时记住的,当你深深地感到羞耻,违反了自己的价值观和伦理之间的鸿沟时，这是你自己的标准,你的实际行为。
In such a case, you need to work very hard at forgiving youeself for these deeds so that yo call close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself.
在这种情况下，
This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourselfor not feel regret or remorse; but wallowing in these feelings for a protracted period of time is not healthy, and punishing yourself excessively will only creats a bigger gap between you and your ethics.
这并不意味着你应该急于原谅自己而不感到后悔或自责，但是很长一段时间总沉溺于这些感觉是没有意义的，惩罚自己过度只会给你和你的道德制造更大的隔阂。
The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another.
最后，比较难得就是再次原谅被人。
At some time of our life, you may have been severely wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible.
有时候在我的生活中，你可能受到另一个人的严重伤害，似乎是不可原谅的。
However, harboring resentment and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victim hood. Under such a circumstance, you should force yourself to see the bigger picture, by so doing, you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment.
然而，怀著怨恨和复仇幻想只让你一直成为受害者。通过这样做你必须强迫自己看到更大的图景,你可以转移你的注意力,不至于沉溺于怒火和仇恨之中。
It is only through forgiveness that you can erase wrongdoing and clean the memory. when you can finally release the situation, you may come to see it as a necessary part of your growth.
只有通过宽恕,你才能忘却过错,清理那些不堪的记忆。当你终于可以释放时,你会认为这是你成长的一个必要的部分。