绝望主妇 | 精讲第66期: 这锅我不背

S01E16

Lynette: "Nurse Abigail?" 
Nurse Abigail: "Mrs. Scavo, right? The twins' mother?" 
Lynette: "I just wanted to tell you that the boys are now lice-free." 
Nurse Abigail: "Good to hear."

Lynette: "I just can't figure out how it happened. They get a bath every night. Trust me, it's the ugliest 15 minutes of the day." 
Nurse Abigail: "I believe you."

Lynette: "I keep thinking that maybe it was the petting zoo that I took them to last week. That llama was really iffy."

Nurse Abigail: "Mrs. Scavo, it doesn't work that way. Lice only spreads from human to human. Even the cleanest kid in the world can get it if he gets too close to the wrong kid." 
Lynette: "Really?" 
Nurse Abigail: "Yes. So don't be so hard on yourself, huh?" 
Lynette: "I guess. Still, I can't help but feel a little guilty. After all, my kids started an entire lice outbreak."

Nurse Abigail: "Look, your, uh, your kids didn't start it." 
Lynette: "They didn't?" 
Nurse Abigail: "No. I know for a fact that patient zero was another little boy. This is his fourth time with this particular problem." 
Lynette: "Oh. That is a load off my mind. Well, thank you."

Lynette: "So which kid is it?" 
Nurse Abigail: "I can't tell you. You know we have a no-blame policy. We have to protect the children. You understand." 
Lynette: "Of course."
(She turns to the door, then turns back around.) 
Lynette: "No, I don't. You're going to have to give me a name." 
Nurse Abigail: "Mrs. Scavo --" 
Lynette: "Here's the thing. Acting like parents won't assign blame is like pretending they don't keep score at pee-wee league games. It's human nature. If you don't give the moms someone to blame, they'll pick a scapegoat. I can't let my boys be the scapegoat."

Nurse Abigail: "Please don't put me in this position." 
Lynette: "I'm begging you. They've already been uninvited from a birthday party, a really big birthday party with a bouncy house and a hot dog stand and a clown." 
Nurse Abigail: "I wish I could help you, but --" 
Lynette: "For god's sakes, there's gonna be a magician. Tammy Brennan went all out." 
Nurse Abigail: "Tammy Brennan? Topher's mother?" 
Lynette: "Yes." 
Nurse Abigail: "Well, isn't that interesting. Have a seat."

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