Chandler: Hi. You guys have any wrapping paper?
Phoebe: Oh! Is it for my birthday present?
Chandler: Pheebs, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!
Chandler: Ok, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers...called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Rachel: Oh, honey, that's so sweet.
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Chandler: Ok, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
Joey: Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Rachel: What did you get her?
Chandler: A pen.
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Joey: Why not?
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Rachel: Ok, honey, what he means by that, is...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over..."Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, ok?
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?Joey: Or...just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Chandler: Ok, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you get her something worse than that. Like...a regular pen.
Chandler: She's really gonna love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Rachel: Aw, honey, that's so sweet.
Chandler: Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?
Rachel: Oh! Pathetic!
Joey: Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Chandler: I got something for her. It's a book!
Joey: A book? Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, ok? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just...let me know if she likes it, ok?
Joey: Oh you got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one.
Joey: Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
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