05 Two men speak of love(5)

　　Although Mr Carton visited Dr Manette's house quite often, he usually said very little when he was there. One day in August he arrived when Dr Manette was out and he was received by Lucie. She had always been a little shy with him, but on that day she noticed something different in his face.
　　'Aren't you well, Mr Carton' she asked.
　　'No, probably not, Miss Manette, but my way of life is not good for my health.'
　　'That seems sad, ' said Lucie gently.'Why do you not change your way of life'
　　'It's too late for that. I shall never be better than I am. But, Miss Manette, there is something that I want to say to you, but I find it so difficult. Will you listen to me'
　　'If it will help you, Mr Carton, I will be happy to listen to you, ' said Lucie, but she was pale and trembling.
　　'Miss Manette, I know that you could never have feelings of love for me, a man who has spent his life so badly.'
　　'Even without my love, Mr Carton, can I not save you， Can I not help you'
　　'No, Miss Manette, ' said Carton.'Even if it was possible for you to love me, it is too late for me. I would only make you sad, and destroy your life. But it has been a last dream of my heart. To see you and your father together, to see the home that you have made for him—this has brought back old and happier memories for me.'

尽管卡登先生经常拜访马内特医生家，但他来时总是很少说话。8月的一天他来时马内特医生出去了，路茜接待了他。她在他面前总是有点害羞，但在那天她注意到了他的脸上有种不同以往的神情。
　　“您不舒服吗，卡登先生
”她问。
　　“不，大概不是吧，马内特小姐。只是我的生活方式对健康不好。”
　　“那可太不幸了，”路茜柔声说，“您为什么不改变一下您的生活方式呢
”
　　“那太晚了。我永远不会比现在有什么起色了。但是，马内特小姐，我有一件事想对您说，但又发现这太难了。您会听我说吗
”
　　“如果那对您有帮助的话，卡登先生，我会乐意听您说的。”路茜说。然而她的脸色苍白，浑身发抖。
　　“马内恃小姐，我知道您是永远不会对我有爱情的。我这个人生活得这么糟糕。”
　　“即便没有爱情，卡登先生，难道我就不能挽救您吗
我不能帮您吗”
　　“不，马内特小姐，”卡登说。“即使您可能爱我，那对我来说也已经太晚了。我只会让您伤心，从而毁了您的生活。但那也是我心中最后的一个梦想。能看到您和您的父亲在一起，看到您为他建起的这个家——这已经为我带回了那古老而幸福的回忆。”