01-假如生活是一台电脑

Chapter 1 If life were like a computer

Story 1：You are too late

on a bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.

"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."

Story 2：Christmas

It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What is your offense?"

"I did my Christmas shopping early this year," cried the prisoner.

"There's nothing wrong with that," said the Judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," answered the prisoner.

Story 3：Problem with gas

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts… although still silent… stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

Final story：If life were like a computer

You could add / remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings. You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy. You could click on "find" (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys. To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!