1234 这个世界比手机里的世界要美丽太多了 ｜ 法国尼斯一个不舒服的沙发住宿体验

The world is more beautiful than the world wide web. 现实世界比互联网要美妙多了。

我的愿望很简单，就是用我的脚步去丈量这个世界, 在这次环欧旅行中，我试着要省钱和为了体验更多的文化尝试了沙发客的体验！这两个月的火车行我总共经历了19个不同地方当沙发客的体验，在我的couchsurfing档案里，我都会特别强调，我不是用沙发冲浪来约会的，（I’m not using couchsurfing to date!)，我将我两个月的行程公开后，收到了将近上百封的邀约！在每个沙发主人的档案上，你可以看得到他们过去接待的经验还有沙发客留下的评价（reference）。我尽量挑选亲切的留言、有良好评价，还有可以提供独立房间的沙发主。我得说这次欧洲沙发的冒险体验大多都是非常美好的，然而有少数几个让我感觉不是太舒服的，今天我就来分享一个吧！我也在节目最后提出了几个问题希望你们也可以思考一下或告诉我你是怎么想的。

My couchsurfing host in Nice, France, who had lived there about 9 years with his family. His apartment was centrally located and it was perfect for my next journeys to Monaco and Geneva. I felt really lucky! During the time staying with him, there were also two couchsurfers from Kazakhstan sharing the apartment. It turned out we were going to the same travel conference those days too. I didn’t know those girls very well, but they seemed really friendly. The host was also lovely and helpful. However, those days the host often complained to me in private that he felt used when the girls had the breakfast he offered and never asked to wash the dishes or cook anything back. He never said anything right in front of them, though. I felt a bit uncomfortable about the situation and offered to make dumplings and buy lunch to compensate even though I was out of their interactions. I was trying to be a good guest however became somewhat uneasy living in his place as the week went on. It seemed that my efforts were interpreted the wrong way as some kind of romantic spark and some comments became uncomfortably flirtatious. In the end, I felt relieved when I finally left his place. 

我在法国尼斯的沙发主和他家人住在法国九年了。他的公寓就在市中心，所以对我接下来的要去摩纳哥还有日内瓦（瑞士）的火车旅行会非常的方便。我感到很幸运！在他家住宿的那段时间，还有两位来自哈萨克斯坦的女孩，因为我们同样是参加俱乐部在欧洲的旅行大会，共享了他的公寓。我不是很认识这两个女生，但是她们人看起来非常友善。沙发主人也是非常的好和热心的主人。然而，他则在那几天一直在私底下和我抱怨这两个女生，吃他的喝他的，也没有做饭来回馈他。我则为了补偿他为他做了饺子还有买午餐。即使我和他的互动不是像他们和沙发主那样子，住在他家我还是感觉有点不自在，因为我试着要当一个好客人，然而他以为我们之间有浪漫的火花，在我待的那周言语中有点挑逗。终于离开他的地方时，我真的觉得解脱了。

It got me thinking about a couple of questions, which I still don’t have conclusive answers to. I would be interested to hear other people’s views. 

这件事让我想了好多问题，到现在我都没有确切的答案，我很好奇，也想听听其他人的意见。

What is appropriate behavior for the host and the guest? Is it the same across cultures and  how could we objectively understand the meaning behind words and actions? If a guest feels uncomfortable with something they see or with something they experience in a host’s place, is it appropriate to challenge this and if so, how? When we write a reference about an experience do we have a responsibility to write it only from our perspective or should we think about how other people  might feel in that situation.

到底什么是对于沙发主人和客人适当的行为呢？在不同的文化是一样准则的吗？我们要怎么客观的去理解话语和行为背后的意思呢？如果一个客人对于看到的某件事或他们在主人家里体验到感到不舒服的话，去拿出这件事来挑战对方是不是适当的事情呢？那应该怎么做了？还有我们需不需为对方写这件事的评价负责任？在写的时候我们是完全用我们的观点来写，还是试想别人可能会怎样感受到那个情况来写呢？