fear.part two.合

There were those times when Emily wasyounger, that she had tried to overcome her fear. She’d muster up the mentalstrength to venture out for a family walk, and face her fear, but it usuallyended in tears and a feeling of dismay.

“Daddy, quick there's a dog coming! Help me!”

“Ok, ok calm down Emily, it's miles away.”

“Oh no, it's off the lead!” she shrieked. “Just hold my hand, it'llbe fine,” her dad would say with a reassuring smile. And then she’d hold on toher dad for dear life, heart beating fast, until the owner and perfectly nicedog passed her. It had to be some distance away before she could let go of herdad's hand and breath a sigh of relief again. And it didn't seem to help whenshe’d watch her sister fussing over a friendly dog, playing with him andtickling his belly and happily talking to his owner about what breed the dogwas, how old he was, what his good and bad habits were, how much it cost togroom his coat, and other dog owner chit chat.

She hated the fact she had a mental blockwhen it came to dogs. She had no idea where it came from. People would ask if adog had bitten her. But no. Nothing like that had happened that would easilyexplain it. She had no idea where her fear came from?

And the worst part was that her fearsometimes caused her the most excruciating embarrassment.

There was another time, 4 or 5 years back,when the family were out walking in Port Meadow, when a dog wanted to come andsay ‘hello’, much to Emily’s horror!

And that was the time her dadabsentmindedly let go of Emily's hand to pet the dog and say ‘hi’, back. Emilybroke out into uncontrollable hysterics!

She was so frantic that she accidentallywet herself!

The poor owner looked horrified and hastilytook her dog away. It took a lot to calm down Emily. Not surprisingly, that wasEmily's last outing to the meadow, for a long time.

The next day, her mum and dad gave her abeautiful music box. Emily’s parents hoped it would make her feel better.

It had a little song and the words were:

“Thank you my friend

For lifting my heart

So truly..

Thank you my friend

For taming my soul

I was unruly..

Sing this happy song,

No more being afraid..”

She liked to listen to it at night when shewas lying in the dark.

Occasionally the whole dog thing got to herand she would cry: “Mummy, why can't I be like Lola? Why am I so afraid of dogsand she isn't? Why am I so different from everyone else?”

Lola, for instance had a part time job as areceptionist at the dentist surgery where Emily was registered. She hadn’t toldEmily that the dentist had a dog. A huge Doberman called Max. But he was agentle giant, who slept under the desk. When Emily was standing there once, helicked her leg - and I needn’t tell you that Emily completely freaked out.

Her mother would try to console her, “Darling,there's nothing wrong with you. Honestly have you seen Lola when a spider getsnear her? You'd think a murder was taking place! What I'm trying to say is,that lots of people have fears of different kinds - you're not alone. I knowit's hard for you because you know how much Lola wants a puppy. Daddy and Ihave discussed and agreed that we’ll put it on the back burner for now. We’vetold Lola that we have to postpone the idea for now but will consider it whenthe time is right.”

“Lola said she hated me Mummy,” Emily said tearily. “And she calledme a freak!”

“Yes I know,” replied her mother with a sigh. “We all talked aboutthis and Lola did apologise to you. Look I'm sure your phobia will pass as youget older. I don't think it'll be a problem forever, ok?”

“I hope so Mummy,” said Emily drying up her sniffles in her mothers’blouse.

But it was a problem. And then, it becamean even bigger problem. Probably the worst thing that could have happened,happened.