Fools rush in where angels fear to tread 愚人敢为天使不敢为之事

I couldn't quite believe my ears when I first heard the news. Dragons aren't mythical beasts, they've found one in Peru. It was hidden in the jungle, far away from view but they're taking it to Paris now, to put it in a zoo.  Pity the poor dragon, oh what a hullabaloo!

第一次听说这件传闻的时候，我简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。在秘鲁，有人居然发现了传说中的龙，这意味着龙不再只是神话中的动物。据说，这条龙当时正藏在远离人境的丛林里。可现在，他们正在把它送往巴黎，将要把它关进动物园里。一想到这条龙将要生活在嘈杂的人类环境里，就禁不住为它叹息！

(And if you believed any of that, then I guess the joke's on you.)

（如果你并非完全不信的话，我想，你已经被这个笑话愚弄了。）

Yes, it's that time of year again. April, the month of mirth and merriment. Back home in the UK, we call the first of this month "April Fool's Day". It's an annual celebration that dates back to at least the 17th century and likely originated somewhere in continental Europe, according to Alex Boese, author of The Museum of Hoaxes: A History of Outrageous Pranks and Deceptions.

是的，又到了一年中最轻松欢乐的四月。在我的家乡英国，我们将四月的第一天称为“愚人节”。著有《恶作剧博物馆：史上最著名的恶作剧事件》（The Museum of Hoaxes: A History of Outrageous Pranks and Deceptions）的作家亚历克斯·博斯（Alex Boese）认为，一年一度的愚人节庆祝习俗至少在17世纪就有了，并且很有可能起源于欧洲大陆的某个地方。

The tradition lives on today in the form of practical jokes played on unsuspecting victims. Newspapers and other media outlets also get in on the fun by spreading silly spoofs on April 1. 

如今，愚人节习俗的庆祝形式主要是对不知情者实施恶作剧。报纸和其他媒体也会在4月1日当天炮制假新闻庆祝愚人节。

Usually, these stories feature something fairly fantastical or even outright absurd, such as the infamous "spaghetti-tree hoax" broadcast by the BBC in 1957. At that time, pasta was a something of a novelty in Britain and many were unaware of its exact provenance. Hundreds of the program's viewers were thus fooled into thinking it grew on trees, with a large number even phoning in the next day to ask for more information on cultivating their own spaghetti.

通常情况下，这些报道富于想象，有的甚至荒诞不经。比如1957年由英国广播公司报道的著名骗局“意大利面树恶作剧”（spaghetti-tree hoax）。当时，在英国，意大利面还是一种新的外来食物，许多人并不知道它的确切出处。节目播出后，成百上千的观众误以为意大利面是长在树上的，许多观众甚至在第二天打电话询问怎样在家里种植意大利面树。

Hence my little ruse about the dragon at the beginning of this column. It was a nod of the head, if you will, to hoaxers far greater than I. I put it in verse to make it clear that something was the matter, and by the final stanza all should have been cut and dried.

因此，在本专栏的开头，我利用“龙”跟大家开了一个小玩笑。这是我致敬比我厉害得多的恶搞达人的一种方式。我把这个有关”龙“的玩笑情景化，使大家在文章一开始就了解到“愚人节”恶作剧的内涵，到了文章结尾，大家对“愚人节”恶作剧就不再陌生。

You see, my biggest concern this month isn't with fooling other people. On the contrary, it's with not making a complete fool out of myself.  Because on April 15 I'm scheduled to give a speech on stage in Hangzhou, as part of a series of talks organized by China Daily called Vision China.

你看，我这个月最担心的不是怎样愚弄他人，而是我会不会反被愚弄，成为一个十足的傻瓜。因为4月15日，我将前往杭州，站在新的的讲台上演讲，这次演讲是中国日报新时代大讲堂（Vision China）系列演讲之一。

The only problem is, I've never really given a speech to a capacity crowd before. In fact, the closest I've come to that kind of public speaking was probably at my wedding reception back in November and even then, among friends and family, I was shaking like a leaf.

我唯一的问题是，我在之前从未在座无虚席的礼堂里发表过演讲。事实上，上次参加这种类似的公开演讲还是在我11月份的结婚典礼上。即便在那时，被亲朋好友围绕，我仍然战战兢兢，仿佛一片被风吹动的落叶。

I have heard it said that the real trick to addressing an audience lies in looking past the forest of faces, picking out two or three individuals and speaking directly to them.

有人告诉我，面对观众公开演讲的真正诀窍是，在茫茫人海中挑选两三位观众，直视他们，然后对着他们滔滔不绝。

Which no doubt is sage advice, if a little hard to follow. Especially when I've got a PowerPoint presentation and the whole thing's on a clock.

虽然这有点难以做到，但毫无疑问是个好主意。尤其是在我既要担心幻灯片的展示，又要担心演讲时长问题的时候。

But I'm hoping that preparedness will be what gets me through in the end. So I'll knuckle down and practice, and if worst comes to worst, at least it's not going to be broadcast live online.

但我希望事前的准备能帮我顺利完成这次演讲。因此，我会认真对待这次演讲，并不断练习。更何况，即使最坏的情况出现，至少这次演讲的内容也不会直播出去。

Oh wait, it is? Damn.

等等，会在线直播？天哪！