采访100位青少年，他们最想告诉父母的8句心里话

声音、英文稿、剪辑、主播：孟飞Phoenix

▽

After Interviewing 100 Teens: 8 Heartfelt Truths From Them

采访100个青春期孩子后，来自他们的8句心里话

01

Before you share your opinions with me, please take a moment to genuinely listen to mine. Even if you end up being right and I’m wrong, I just want you to respect my right to express my thoughts—that’s what a discussion is about.

跟我分享你们的观点之前，请先耐心、认真或者至少不敷衍地听听我的观点。哪怕最后证明你是正确的我是错的，我也希望你能对我表达观点的权利表示尊重，因为这才叫讨论…

02

Dad & Mum, before you talk to me, please organize your thoughts. Say what you really want in simple terms. Skip the emotional overload and don’t turn one clear point into ten confusing ones.

爸妈，希望你们跟我说话前，先整理好自己的思路，把你们真正想说的建议、想法或是期待，用最简单明了的话讲出来。别掺杂那么多激动的情绪，也不要用那么高亢或低落的语气跟我讲话，更不要把一句话能讲清楚的事儿变成十句话来说。

03

Sometimes when I vent about a teacher, a classmate, or homework, I just want someone to understand me. I’m not looking for advice, and I definitely don’t want to see you stress over it. Just be my emotional support, not my extra stress.

爸妈，其实有时我跟你们吐槽某个老师或同学不好、作业太多或是学习压力太大时，我其实只是想要找一个愿意理解我的人抱怨一下，让我的情绪被听到、被接纳，完全不用错误地认为自己要给我什么建议，我也不想看到你们为此变得抓狂，因为那会让我更加崩溃。换言之，希望你们做我的“情绪缓冲垫”，千万别做我的“情绪增加剂"。

04

When I have conflicts, I hope you’ll stand by me emotionally first. Don’t rush to defend others before supporting me.

爸妈，我希望当我和别人发生冲突时，不管怎样你们情感上先站在我这边，先要护着我这个自家人，别一上来就胳膊肘往外拐讲一堆道理或者只顾护着外人。

05

In arguments with adults, winning the emotional battle is key. If I give in, it feels like I’m giving up my independence. Respect my space, and I’ll be more open to your suggestions.

当我和大人争论时，事实层面谁对谁错并不重要，关键是气势上我绝不能输。因为认输便代表着我把自己思想上的独立权割让给了父母。所以你要让我接受你的建议就必须要让我感到自己是被尊重的。

06

Please don’t criticize me in front of my friends. Their opinions mean the most to me.

千万别在我同学和朋友面前批评我，驳我面子，因为他们（同龄人）对我的评价和印象，对我来说非常非常重要。

07

When I say “I never want to see you again,” what I really mean is: “Stop! I don’t like how you’re talking to me. Change your approach.”

有时我说“我再也不想见到你”时，其实真正想说的是: “停！我很不喜欢你现在跟我说话的态度，我不想你再用那样的方式对我。”

08

Mom, I really don’t want to hear you say “Everything we do is for you” all the time. It makes me feel guilty, like I owe you something. When I feel that pressure and can’t meet it, I might just want to escape (like skipping school or pretending to be sick). I hope our closeness is based on appreciation, understanding, and love, not guilt.

妈，我真不希望你们时刻把“我们做的一切都是为了你”挂在嘴边，因为那会让我感到愧疚，总觉得自己必须做些什么来偿还对你们的这份亏欠。当一面是偿还的力，一面我又感到自己做不到时，逃避（不上学或是生病）就是我的唯一选择。我希望和你们的亲密是建立在彼此欣赏、认可和爱的基础上，而不是用内疚把我们绑在一起。