凯特·温斯莱特 | 朗读成人睡前故事《MD，现在我有了你俩》

Hello children, you really need to go to sleep right now. And hello Mommies and Daddies, tonight's bedtime story is called: ***, Now There are Two of You.小朋友们，你们好，现在到了就寝的时间啦。各位爸爸妈妈们好，今晚的睡前故事叫:《MD,现在我有了你俩》。
I have wonderful news for you darling, a little brother or sister is coming. What fun! As for me, my life is pretty much *** now, because two is a million more kids than one.亲爱的，我有个好消息要告诉你，你就要有一个小弟弟或小妹妹了。多有趣啊！至于我，我的生活现在几乎是一团糟，因为两个孩子比一个孩子多花费一百万。
The baby is growing inside Mama's tummy. Put your hand there - you might feel it kick! Soon you won't be the focus of all our attention. Chances are, that will make you a dick.宝宝正在妈妈的肚子里成长，把手放在妈妈肚皮上。你可能会感觉到他在踢你，不过很快你就不是我们关注的焦点了。这很有可能会让你变成一个混蛋。
Once there were pockets of quiet when Mama and Papa could do a few Grown-up-type things, but not anymore, ***, now there are two of you.爸爸妈妈曾经可以安静地做一些大人做的事情，但现在不行了，因为有了你们俩。
Now I can't play right now, kiddo. The Babe spent the whole night awake. I know you feel sad and neglected, but cut me some slack *** sake.我不能陪你玩了，孩子。弟弟（妹妹）整晚都醒着。我知道你很伤心，觉得自己被忽视了，但看在上帝的份上，你就放过我吧。
Looking back with just you it was easy to do stuff without a big uproar. Now the simplest of outings a grueling ordeal. What the *** did we sign ourselves up for?现在回想起来，只有你一个的时候，做任何事情都不会引起轩然大波。现在，最简单的外出活动都成了一场艰苦的折磨。我们到底是怎么了？
Someday you'll entertain one another, while we chill and catch up on our reading. But for years, *** years, there will not be a time no one's shitting or crying or peeing.总有一天，你们会互相取乐，而我们就可以轻松地看会儿书。但这么多年来，这么多年，你们无时无刻都在拉屎、哭泣或撒尿。
I don't love you any less now, my dear. Love's not a pie, we don't have to divide it. I'm just so frazzled, I hate everybody and I'm too *** tired to hide it.我现在对你的爱丝毫没有减少，亲爱的。爱不是馅饼，我们不需要分。我只是太焦虑了，我恨所有人，无须掩饰，我真的太累了。
Sometimes when you both are sleeping, we watch you, secure in the knowledge that one day this madness will come to an end. And you'll both go the *** off to college.有时候，我看着你们俩都睡着了，确信总有一天这种疯狂会结束。然后你们俩都去上大学。
At two in the morning, it hits me. My heart thumps a rat-a-tat-tat. If you two were going to college, how the *** are we paying for that.凌晨两点，我的心砰砰直跳。我突然想到，如果你们俩要去上大学，我们TM怎么付得起学费呢？
Good night!晚安！